Season 4 Episode 22: Thomas and The Special Letter

Thomas arrives with his last train for the day, where Toby and Percy are waiting. They discuss that they all are going to the big station and that something must be up. The meaning of somethings up confuses Toby's old man brain. 

It's not funny, Thomas.

Just then, coming up the line they see Mavis, BoCo, Bill, Ben, Donald, Douglas, and Oliver. Donald reminds them to hurry they are all wanted at the station. Thomas is even more curious about what's going on. The three leave to find out what is the hub bub.

At the station, The Fat Controller from on top of Duck reads a letter from a little girl. The girl asks if the engines could visit her at the station near her house. The girl is a huge Thomas fangirl.

I am Mufasa 

The Fat Controller takes this as an opportunity for publicity and announces that they are going to the big city. Well, only a select few of them. 

The engines who were going on the trip begin to show their replacements the ropes of their lines. Thomas gives the low down to Oliver. 

All the excitement begins to give Thomas' ego a big boast. He begins to brag to Oliver about how useful he is, how everyone loves him, and winning a race against Bertie. 

You know typical Thomas stuff

Thomas couldn't just tell Oliver about it. Nope he has to show off and reenact it. All the sudden, Thomas takes off like a horny jack rabbit. And has a GIF worthy accident.

I love Bill/Ben's face back there.

Thomas or crew didn't die or anything. But, Thomas did have bent buffers. The Fat Controller is called. He sends out some workmen and makes it clear that Thomas is danger of not going on the trip if he is not mended in time.

8 o' clock the next morning, Gordon, Edward, James, Percy, Toby, Henry, and Duck are waiting to see if Thomas makes it.

It's all about Thomas.

And god dammit, Thomas makes it. They all head off to the city, where dreams are made.

In the city, the engines where put up in a fancy shed surrounded by their adoring fans. Sounds like my worst nightmare.

It's a metaphor for Thomas being the center of the universe.

Don't forget to check out this blog's sister, Kidisasters. A snarky look at various kid shows.

Season 4 Episode 21: Bulls Eyes

Toby pulls up on the one and only, Kim Kardashian of Sodor, Daisy. Daisy starts to tease Toby for having cow catchers. She states that Toby is only afraid of hurting himself. Daisy declares all she has to do it toot at the cows. Animals always run in fear if you toot and look them in the eye, even bulls. 
In fact, Daisy has never seen a bull.

Toby is trying not to loose it at all this toot talk.

Daisy heads off to her run, all the while with her sexy theme music playing. At the station, the fuzz was waiting for Daisy. He informs Daisy that a bull is on the line. She must clear it and return it to the farmer. Daisy is excited at the opportunity to show up Toby.

Now, I must solve the mystery of this man's missing mouth.

The bull's name is Champion and today is the day that someone pissed in his Wheaties. He broke through his fence and headed down the hill onto the line. Champion now has become lost.

That bull is already pre-cut 

Daisy sways up the line while Champion is munching on some grass. Daisy gets behind the bull and toots. She yells at him to go home and nothing. 

Daisy begins to complain about how the bull is being a total jag off not turning around for her so she can look him in the eye. 

Just then, Champion turned around and mooed at her. Daisy starts to turn into a chicken shit and tries to whine herself out of the situation. Champion then gets right into her face and sniffs her. Daisy takes off backwards.

Kim and Kayne

Toby approaches Daisy who is sulking in a shed. Toby took great delight in the fact the bull scared her. Toby teased her and took off to take care of Daisy's unfinished business.

Toby finds Champion and rings his bell at him. Nothing happened, except the bull was looking for the ice cream man. Toby then wooshes him with steam. And that does the trick. 

Later that evening, Daisy pulls up to the platform. There was some boys to tease her. They offer her Bulls Eyes candy and rub it in. Daisy leaves feeling like a loser. 

It just wouldn't be a Thomas episode without teasing. 

Season 4 Episode 20: Toad Stands By

Oliver is back in the house! Whoop whoop! He has returned from the works. Ever since his accident he is nervous about trucks. 

The trucks do not make it any better. Lead by their great Kool-Aid dispensing leader S.C. Ruffey, they sing songs to mock Oliver.

S.C Ruffey must have a nasty butt. Just look at that truck back there.

Thomas, Duck, and Percy who were on a siding, became very upset with them. They yell at the trucks. But, hey this is Sodor, it only works so long until they start up again.

Thomas and the gang, eventually have to give up. Oliver believes it is all his doing. Just then Toad, the world's cutest brake van, looks over and feels sorry for Oliver.

They all have the "Someone kicked a puppy face."

The next morning, Douglas and Toad have a heart to heart chat about Oliver. Toads asks, "If it would be okay for him to be on Oliver's train instead?"

Douglas agrees.

I eat worms, Mr. Douglas.

Toad meets up with Duck and Oliver and explains his master plan to them. Duck being a goody two shoes, doesn't think it is a good idea to do it. Oliver protests that this will be his density. Plus it has already has been cleared by the station master. 

Oliver starts Toad's plan. He shunts the worst trucks in place by pairs of two. The scheme is to leave S.C. Ruffey for last. He is the one who is going to get murdered. 

Oliver backs S.C. Ruffey into his place on the train. S.C. Ruffey starts to whisper to the other trucks to hold back. 

Oliver overhears and gives S.C. Ruffey a huge pull. Duck on the side, cheers for Oliver to finish him off. Oliver does just that.

Oh snap!

The Fat Controller arrives to inspect the scene of the crime. Instead of being pinned for murder, Oliver gets off due to S.C. Ruffey being in such bad shape. 

Look at his guts all over the place.

Now, all the trucks are terrified of Oliver and mind him. And S.C. Ruffey has been reincarnated and now shuts his mouth.

Oliver Simpson

Season 4 Episode 19: Henry And The Elephant

Thomas pulls up to a station where The Fat Controller is already waiting for him. He remarks on how reliable Thomas is. Thomas pulls away, feeling like a big shot.

Why do you feed his ego?

Meanwhile, the big engines are pissed about something.  Henry was angry about there being no site of Percy. James starts acting like the total ass he is and starts to tease Henry about doing something. He runs his mouth about it not raining.

Henry defends himself by informing James that is no longer the case and then calls James a clown.

Percy pulls up, making a weird face.

I don't why but, it strikes me as weird.

Percy tells the tale about how the circus is in town. He has been unloaded the circus trucks from the harbor. He also informs the other engines that The Fat Controller needs them to help too. 

When it was time for the circus to leave, Gordon and Henry started their roid rage once again. They were angered by the fact James was the one pulling it away.

Later that day, The Fat Controller tells Henry to take some workmen down to the tunnel to see why it is blocked. 

But, mom...

Henry pushes the workmen to the tunnel, all the while complaining. They stop at the tunnel and looked in. While in there, a roar chorused out and the workmen shuffled out.

The giant grey penis of Sodor.

The workman inform their foreman of what they saw. He immediately calls, bull shit. The men insist that they will not go back in. The foreman states that he will ride with Henry and push it out.

Henry is very upset by this plan. 

Why is everyone always picking on me?

Henry slowly heads in. The mystery creature begins to push poor Henry out. The creature revealed itself as an elephant and not the "Giant Grey Penis Of Sodor." 

My mistake.

The workmen gave the elephant cake and water. The elephant begin to calm down. But, Henry let off steam and the elephant squirted him. 

The elephant's keeper arrived and took him off. By that time, Henry was about to blow.

Hey ladies, would you like to ride my elephant?

That night Henry tells the story of how he was molested by an elephant. The other engines feel sorry for him but, still give him crap. But Thomas chirps in all guidance counselor, and cheers Henry up.

Henry is going to turn into a Emo.

Season 4 Episode 18: Bowled Out

Stepney's vacation is coming to a close. The Fat Controller arrives to speak with him and the other engines. The Fat Controller drops the bomb that a diesel is coming to help out with their workload. He warns them to not cause any issues with this diesel. James immediately, thinks this means the engine is difficult. 

How can I start a race war?

Turns out this new engine is in fact, a dip wad. He pulls up and immediately insults the other engines by calling them dirty. The other engines give him the stank eye, to which the diesel adds, that they should be scraped. 

Oh yes, hate me.

The next morning, the engines have a pow wow and discuss what to do as revenge. No one can think of anything. But little do they know, the opportunity will take care of itself.

The Diesel is on a siding being inspected, when the wind picks up. The inspector's hat was blown off his head. 

The Diesel sees Duck and Stepney on the side and boasts, "He'll show them something."

Isn't it bad enough we have to deal with Thomas?

The Diesel starts to pull up to his coaches and then he began to make farting sounds and started to shake. He then stopped in his tracks.

Duck and Stepney push The Diesel into the shed. Low and behold, we see the inpector's hat in The Diesel's air intake.

Should have used some Dulcolax.

The inspector cries over the lost of his hat, while The Fat Controller delegates the heavy train to Duck and Stepney. He informs them that Gordon will take over half way.

The two engines take off. Stepney wanted to really enjoy this run before he went home so, he and Duck blast it. 

My dream boat, Edward.

The two arrive at the big station early. Gordon remarks on how that will show that diesel. We find out that The Diesel is sick from sludge is pouting. 

The next day, it is time to say farewell to Stepney. The engines all gather to say their goodbyes. And then Stepney puffs out into the sunset.

We'll sing in the sunshine...

Meanwhile, The Diesel is also making his way out of town. While on his exit, he farted up Sodor and left the raggity ol' bowler hat.

My cat does the same thing. She leaves a toot trail.

Season 4 Episode 17: Train Stop Play

Mr. Stepney is still visiting the North Western Railway.  He takes a moment to talk to some of the others. Stepney is quit envious of their line. They have plenty of room to run and also get to use trucks. 

Percy is taken back by the suggestion that any engine would want to pull those assholes. But, he gives some of his trucks to Stepney, so he can have a good time.

Psst... I just ripped one, Stepney.

The two engines head off to work. Stepney takes the trucks to the harbor. He then gathers some empty ones to take back. 

On the way, back he sees a cricket game being played. Right above the field, was a signal. 

Stepney was stopped right at it, when the cricket ball flies right into his trucks. Of course, right then the signal drops and they head off.

Notice the cart is now full.

The cricket players yell at them to stop. But, who listens to cricket players? The players hop into their old bat of a car named Caroline, to chase after Stepney.

Caroline is so depressed.

Caroline catches up with Stepney but, he can not hear her tooting. (Put a plug in that tail pipe.) The driver looks over and sees the car following. He just assumes they want to race. He puts Stepney in over drive. 

Caroline is rather annoyed by having to speed up. She claims she is being mistreated in her old age. (Elder abuse!) She sees that Stepney has gone through a tunnel and foolishly thinks this is the end. But, the driver keeps pushing the gas. 

Caroline catches up with Stepney at the station. The players climb out of her, demanding their ball back. One brave man climbs into the the trucks and retrieves it. 

Oops my mistake, this is a ball from a S&M gag.

The players want to head back quickly but, Caroline has overheated.

I'm having a hot flash!

They come up with a plan for Caroline to be pulled on a flat cart by Stepney while the boys ride in a brake van. 

Once at the field, they watch the hot young men play with their ball and swing their bats. The sweat pouring out of their pours was a beautiful sight. It even cheered Caroline up.

Even Bulgy was there.

Season 4 Episode 16: Thomas and Stepney

I have expectations for this one. I am expecting Thomas to be a jerk. (Crosses fingers)

Thomas is an unusually cheery mood this day. He stops to speak with Percy for a moment. Thomas immediately goes into how wonderful his branch line is. And the look on Percy's face is priceless.

Oh please, scrap me!

Percy bursts Thomas' bubble with information of another branch line that is just as awesome. It just so happens to be Stepney's BlueBell Railway. And even better, Stepney may come visit The Fat Controller's engines.

This turns Thomas into a jealous rage. (YES!) 

Build it up, buttercup.

Meanwhile with Thomas' new enemy, Stepney, we find that he growing bored on his line. It is a little short for him. He speaks to Rusty about his problem. Rusty pops out the idea to tell his driver about it and heads off. Stepney does just that and the driver agrees. 

Later that night, his driver breaks the news that they have been invited to visit the North Western Railway.  

I hope the driver models his scarf.

The next day, they set off on the long ride to see the other engines. 

The build up of Stepney visiting is the word on the street with the other engines. They talk all about him making Thomas' jealously grow bigger. Thomas grumbles and heads off to fetch his coaches.

As soon as Thomas leaves, Stepney arrives through the junction and at Knapford. The engines all cheer for him. Total Hottie Edward mentions he should met Thomas. (I wonder if Edward was an evil streak in him like me?)

Stepney heads over to help Duck shunt some coaches for the day. 

Later that evening, Thomas arrives and totally snubs Stepney. And rushes to do his last train.

I think Duck was waiting for it too.

Shortly after Thomas to take his last train, the alarm sounds to stop all trains. A special is coming and they need Thomas shunted off so it can pass through. Thomas grows angry at this and gripes. 

And low and behold it's Stepney!

I love it!

Morning arrives and Thomas still has a bug in his ass over Stepney. His sits in a siding, complaining like a teenager who has their phone taken away. Stepney pulls up along side and apologizes. (Why are you apologizing? It is hilarious!)

Stepney then explains that a special passenger approached them right after Thomas had left. He demanded a special train and Duck gave it to him. (Yeah, I am pretty sure that is not how it works.) Stepney then pads Thomas' ego by telling him he was nervous. 

Aw, thank you. And one day you, little Stepney, can be one a million little boy's t-shirts.

So with that, Thomas and Stepney became frenemies. 

Season 4 Episode 15: Rusty To The Rescue

Introducing, the BlueBell Railway. Rusty loves to visit there. It is his version of Henry's forest. 

One day, Rusty is taking on water when Thomas passes by. Thomas points out that Rusty's driver looks worried. (Well, he works on Sodor and these engines are screw ups.) Rusty asks his driver, "What's his butt?"
The driver thinks the railway needs a new engine to help. 

And I have to poop!

Rusty pulls up to Douglas and Percy and questions "Where he can find another slave on Sodor?"

Douglas brings up the "Other Railway" where he found Oliver. He states he can not help since it is now diesel territory. This makes little Rusty determined to go on his own.

Um, I have a headache!

Rusty later tells his driver all about what they are going to do. The driver came back to the shed that night and informed Rusty. "His plan is a go per the manager." So, the two plan to go the following day because, screw work!

The next day, Rusty heads out. It takes so long to get to the other railway that it was night by the time he arrived. He creeps into the old scrapyard and immediately gets the willies. 

Thomas! He's dead!

Some diesels on the sidings, shout at Rusty. Rusty claims, he is an inspection engine and he wants to stamp their underwear. This works on the diesels and tricks them into giving away the location of one very lonely steam engine. 

I win!

Rusty goes on to find a little tank engine on a siding looking pitiful. His driver, who is very attached to this engine is huddled up inside the cab chilling out. (Is he homeless?)

But at least, he looks fierce!

Rusty sneaks up beside the engine and asks, "If he likes Bluebells?"

The engine answered he does. Rusty explains that he is there to bust him out.

The crew work to commence the rescuing. They fire up the new engine, Stepney and set off. 

Just like E.T.

When the two engines arrive back, a celebration is taking place. And for the first time, we see the BlueBell Railway's manager.

He reminds me of The Reverend from Dr. Quinn. But, I doubt most of you know that reference.

Stepney's driver remarks, "That you are one lucky son of a bitch, Stepney!" (And I am sure he is thrilled he is not sleeping in the cab anymore.)

Now a days, Stepney is enjoying his life on the BBR and no longer fearing his death by scraping. Well, until he was retired this year...

Aw, shit!