Season 5 Episode 1: Cranky Bugs

It's time to dig into season 5. And it starts with Thomas and Percy being in bad moods. It all has to do with a cranky crane named Cranky. (Yay, another angry soul on Sodor!) His main character trait is to complain and call Percy and Thomas, "useless little bugs". 

Aw Cranky, I kind of like you for picking on Thomas.

Cranky starts to give the two some business on where they position the trucks. This really grinds Thomas' gears. And he fights back. Cranky is not about to take any lip from a bug and he drops the load of wood he was carrying in front of Thomas and Percy. 

Oh shit!

Later in the day, the two engines met up with Gordon and James to narc on Cranky. Gordon replies with the most true thing ever stated on the island. He replies, "Cranes need attention, just like me." (Gordon knows he is fickle)

James seems to think it is due to Cranky being in the elements looking at Thomas and Percy being annoying and that is why he calls them bugs. And with that James nailed it.

James, you spoke and didn't annoy me. The world is ending.

Cranky hears about the conversation with James and Gordon and it quit pleased with the two of them agreeing with him. His ego had swelled and he then became even more bitter and bossy. 

Percy had become very upset over Cranky's attitude and he then looses his mind. He pushes some trucks closer to Cranky to load, all the while the crane is bitching at him. Percy pushed them too far ahead do to the rage boiling up in him. Cranky then dropped the cargo on Percy's head. (I really did laugh out loud.)

Thud!

Next up is Thomas to be creamed. Cranky demands that Thomas push his trucks on the outside tracks. Thomas begrudgingly does so. Cranky then drops the load right next to the trucks. (Really, what you did to Percy was a lot more eviler.) Cranky laughs and complains that Thomas knew better that he couldn't reach that line.

Thomas and Percy meet with The Fat Controller, who was angry at the confusion and delay. He rips apart Percy and Thomas over everything that happened. He then sends the two the shed to think about how they made Cranky's job difficult. (I never get why the engines never speak up for themselves when they are blamed for the pranks and accidents they didn't cause?)

That's the old Fat Controller we all love.

That night, a storm rolls in. Gordon, Duck, James, and Henry at stuck at the shed at the harbor. An old steamer ship is on the prowl running loose. It digs through the dock and heads right towards the shed the four are staying in. It collapses the shed and knocks down Cranky. 

This right here is why I am afraid of ships.

The Fat Controller arrives and ganders at the destruction. He decides to have Thomas and Percy head out to help put up Cranky. He'll then have Cranky dig out the other engines out of the shed.

But, I have a headache.

Cranky tells on himself to The Fat Controller. He admits that he was rude to Thomas and Percy all along. The Fat Controller, just now figuring out his mistake decides he owes Thomas and Percy an apology and a couple of kisses.

Thomas and Percy arrive at the scene. The two get Cranky on his feet. Cranky then began the job of clearing the shed. Once Cranky had the shed off the four engines, Gordon begins to kiss Cranky's ass. Cranky admits that he couldn't have done it with those b b b b b b uuuuuggg..... small engines. 

Cranky then rudely asks Thomas and Percy to move. Percy becomes uber pissed and moves while still attached to cranky. And once, again Cranky is on the ground. 

Percy that was the best move ever.

We end the story with Cranky still being cranky. But, he doesn't call them bugs anymore so, there's a positive. 

Season 4 Episode 24: Fish

Henry is waiting at the harbor to pull 'The Flying Kipper'. An extra load of fish had been ordered. The Fat Controller wants it put on extra vans. Duck shunts up some ugly old vans on the train.

Thomas (of course) pulls up with the mail train and stops to speak with Duck. Thomas lectures Duck about the dangers of fish in your boiler. He then goes on to rant about how stinky and disgusting they are. 

Duck has the look of Thomas is a lunatic.

Meanwhile with Henry, he is upset over the extra load. His driver tries to calm him down and mentions that he can have hill getting up Gordon's Hill now with the extra load. Henry says nothing and heads off.

Duck heads off to Edward's station to wait for Henry. He was going to be the helper kitty. 

I'm Duck and I'm here to save the day!

Henry arrives at Edward's station. His driver stops him at the platform. Henry calls for Duck's assistance. Duck pulls up to the back of the train. They didn't couple him on so, Henry could spread his wings and fly away at the top of the hill. The two then set off.

At the hill, all is going well until Henry's tail lamp fell off. Duck felts his buffers slip and then he lost sight of Henry. Henry then started to notice that his train was too heavy and he began to slow down.

I've been violated. 

Duck unaware of Henry's position rear ends him. 

Oh fish sticks!

The next morning, The Fat Controller arrives to inspect the fishy situation. For once he didn't blame Duck. He sends Duck to be duct tapped back together. And Duck now understands why Thomas hates fish.

Nothing was found to be fishy about the situation. 

Season 4 Episode 22: Thomas and The Special Letter

Thomas arrives with his last train for the day, where Toby and Percy are waiting. They discuss that they all are going to the big station and that something must be up. The meaning of somethings up confuses Toby's old man brain. 

It's not funny, Thomas.

Just then, coming up the line they see Mavis, BoCo, Bill, Ben, Donald, Douglas, and Oliver. Donald reminds them to hurry they are all wanted at the station. Thomas is even more curious about what's going on. The three leave to find out what is the hub bub.

At the station, The Fat Controller from on top of Duck reads a letter from a little girl. The girl asks if the engines could visit her at the station near her house. The girl is a huge Thomas fangirl.

I am Mufasa 

The Fat Controller takes this as an opportunity for publicity and announces that they are going to the big city. Well, only a select few of them. 

The engines who were going on the trip begin to show their replacements the ropes of their lines. Thomas gives the low down to Oliver. 

All the excitement begins to give Thomas' ego a big boast. He begins to brag to Oliver about how useful he is, how everyone loves him, and winning a race against Bertie. 

You know typical Thomas stuff

Thomas couldn't just tell Oliver about it. Nope he has to show off and reenact it. All the sudden, Thomas takes off like a horny jack rabbit. And has a GIF worthy accident.

I love Bill/Ben's face back there.

Thomas or crew didn't die or anything. But, Thomas did have bent buffers. The Fat Controller is called. He sends out some workmen and makes it clear that Thomas is danger of not going on the trip if he is not mended in time.

8 o' clock the next morning, Gordon, Edward, James, Percy, Toby, Henry, and Duck are waiting to see if Thomas makes it.

It's all about Thomas.

And god dammit, Thomas makes it. They all head off to the city, where dreams are made.

In the city, the engines where put up in a fancy shed surrounded by their adoring fans. Sounds like my worst nightmare.

It's a metaphor for Thomas being the center of the universe.

Don't forget to check out this blog's sister, Kidisasters. A snarky look at various kid shows.

Season 4 Episode 20: Toad Stands By

Oliver is back in the house! Whoop whoop! He has returned from the works. Ever since his accident he is nervous about trucks. 

The trucks do not make it any better. Lead by their great Kool-Aid dispensing leader S.C. Ruffey, they sing songs to mock Oliver.

S.C Ruffey must have a nasty butt. Just look at that truck back there.

Thomas, Duck, and Percy who were on a siding, became very upset with them. They yell at the trucks. But, hey this is Sodor, it only works so long until they start up again.

Thomas and the gang, eventually have to give up. Oliver believes it is all his doing. Just then Toad, the world's cutest brake van, looks over and feels sorry for Oliver.

They all have the "Someone kicked a puppy face."

The next morning, Douglas and Toad have a heart to heart chat about Oliver. Toads asks, "If it would be okay for him to be on Oliver's train instead?"

Douglas agrees.

I eat worms, Mr. Douglas.

Toad meets up with Duck and Oliver and explains his master plan to them. Duck being a goody two shoes, doesn't think it is a good idea to do it. Oliver protests that this will be his density. Plus it has already has been cleared by the station master. 

Oliver starts Toad's plan. He shunts the worst trucks in place by pairs of two. The scheme is to leave S.C. Ruffey for last. He is the one who is going to get murdered. 

Oliver backs S.C. Ruffey into his place on the train. S.C. Ruffey starts to whisper to the other trucks to hold back. 

Oliver overhears and gives S.C. Ruffey a huge pull. Duck on the side, cheers for Oliver to finish him off. Oliver does just that.

Oh snap!

The Fat Controller arrives to inspect the scene of the crime. Instead of being pinned for murder, Oliver gets off due to S.C. Ruffey being in such bad shape. 

Look at his guts all over the place.

Now, all the trucks are terrified of Oliver and mind him. And S.C. Ruffey has been reincarnated and now shuts his mouth.

Oliver Simpson

Season 4 Episode 18: Bowled Out

Stepney's vacation is coming to a close. The Fat Controller arrives to speak with him and the other engines. The Fat Controller drops the bomb that a diesel is coming to help out with their workload. He warns them to not cause any issues with this diesel. James immediately, thinks this means the engine is difficult. 

How can I start a race war?

Turns out this new engine is in fact, a dip wad. He pulls up and immediately insults the other engines by calling them dirty. The other engines give him the stank eye, to which the diesel adds, that they should be scraped. 

Oh yes, hate me.

The next morning, the engines have a pow wow and discuss what to do as revenge. No one can think of anything. But little do they know, the opportunity will take care of itself.

The Diesel is on a siding being inspected, when the wind picks up. The inspector's hat was blown off his head. 

The Diesel sees Duck and Stepney on the side and boasts, "He'll show them something."

Isn't it bad enough we have to deal with Thomas?

The Diesel starts to pull up to his coaches and then he began to make farting sounds and started to shake. He then stopped in his tracks.

Duck and Stepney push The Diesel into the shed. Low and behold, we see the inpector's hat in The Diesel's air intake.

Should have used some Dulcolax.

The inspector cries over the lost of his hat, while The Fat Controller delegates the heavy train to Duck and Stepney. He informs them that Gordon will take over half way.

The two engines take off. Stepney wanted to really enjoy this run before he went home so, he and Duck blast it. 

My dream boat, Edward.

The two arrive at the big station early. Gordon remarks on how that will show that diesel. We find out that The Diesel is sick from sludge is pouting. 

The next day, it is time to say farewell to Stepney. The engines all gather to say their goodbyes. And then Stepney puffs out into the sunset.

We'll sing in the sunshine...

Meanwhile, The Diesel is also making his way out of town. While on his exit, he farted up Sodor and left the raggity ol' bowler hat.

My cat does the same thing. She leaves a toot trail.

Season 4 Episode 16: Thomas and Stepney

I have expectations for this one. I am expecting Thomas to be a jerk. (Crosses fingers)

Thomas is an unusually cheery mood this day. He stops to speak with Percy for a moment. Thomas immediately goes into how wonderful his branch line is. And the look on Percy's face is priceless.

Oh please, scrap me!

Percy bursts Thomas' bubble with information of another branch line that is just as awesome. It just so happens to be Stepney's BlueBell Railway. And even better, Stepney may come visit The Fat Controller's engines.

This turns Thomas into a jealous rage. (YES!) 

Build it up, buttercup.

Meanwhile with Thomas' new enemy, Stepney, we find that he growing bored on his line. It is a little short for him. He speaks to Rusty about his problem. Rusty pops out the idea to tell his driver about it and heads off. Stepney does just that and the driver agrees. 

Later that night, his driver breaks the news that they have been invited to visit the North Western Railway.  

I hope the driver models his scarf.

The next day, they set off on the long ride to see the other engines. 

The build up of Stepney visiting is the word on the street with the other engines. They talk all about him making Thomas' jealously grow bigger. Thomas grumbles and heads off to fetch his coaches.

As soon as Thomas leaves, Stepney arrives through the junction and at Knapford. The engines all cheer for him. Total Hottie Edward mentions he should met Thomas. (I wonder if Edward was an evil streak in him like me?)

Stepney heads over to help Duck shunt some coaches for the day. 

Later that evening, Thomas arrives and totally snubs Stepney. And rushes to do his last train.

I think Duck was waiting for it too.

Shortly after Thomas to take his last train, the alarm sounds to stop all trains. A special is coming and they need Thomas shunted off so it can pass through. Thomas grows angry at this and gripes. 

And low and behold it's Stepney!

I love it!

Morning arrives and Thomas still has a bug in his ass over Stepney. His sits in a siding, complaining like a teenager who has their phone taken away. Stepney pulls up along side and apologizes. (Why are you apologizing? It is hilarious!)

Stepney then explains that a special passenger approached them right after Thomas had left. He demanded a special train and Duck gave it to him. (Yeah, I am pretty sure that is not how it works.) Stepney then pads Thomas' ego by telling him he was nervous. 

Aw, thank you. And one day you, little Stepney, can be one a million little boy's t-shirts.

So with that, Thomas and Stepney became frenemies. 

Season 3 Episode 23: Bulgy

It is a special holiday on Sodor. You know how I know?

BAM!

Duck is at the station waiting for his next assignment. Near the station stood a ugly mean looking double decker bus. Duck innocently tries to be polite to the bus but, this bus is a jerk. He insists that all railways will be ripped up one day. This turns Duck red.

Does this mean engines' have blood? I am thinking too hard about this.

Duck heads off to the junction and he tells Oliver all about the bus. Oliver states that he calls him, "Bulgy." He then heads off. 

Later that afternoon, Duck and Oliver meet again. This time Oliver is the one who is angered by Bulgy. Oliver explains that Bulgy's friend has come to help and Bulgy is stealing their passengers. Bulgy is stealing the passengers by knowing a short cut to the big station. 

It just got real Duck.

That evening, Duck and Oliver are readying for the evening trains. Duck takes notice that the passengers are missing. Oliver points out that Bulgy has them. That bastard even had a sign that said, "Railway Bus" on his side.

I feel like Bulgy ate them.

Bulgy heads off and Duck follows to see what Bulgy is up to.

While on his line, Duck sees a man on his line waving a red flag. Duck stops and sees Bulgy stuck under the bridge ahead. 

And I don't wanna ever feel the way I did that day.

The passenger outside the bus scream at Duck about how they have been tricked. Duck's crew takes a look at the bridge and decides to chance it to take care of passengers. 

Duck crosses the bridge slowly on top of Bulgy. Bulgy rightfully so is in fear for his life. But who cares really? He is a butthole. Duck continues the route and is a hero. 

The bridge was mended and Bulgy was sent to be a chicken coupe. He lives a life of being pooped on. Just like how he pooped on the engines. 

Karma!

Season 3 Episode 22: Oliver Owns Up

This episode starts off with a beautiful montage of Duck and Oliver working the branch line. The two of them are all over their Great Western Heritage. 

Duck and Oliver are at the harbor, having a conversation on how Douglas is Oliver's hero for saving him. It is Oliver's go to story now.

He even tells the other engines it in the shed that night. The engines throw out a bunch of words to describe Oliver. Gordon throws one out that stumps Percy. And this begins the dumbing down of Percy. 

Sorry Percy, it's true.

The next day, Oliver is puffing along the line. He had became very Gordon-like and big headed from all the wonderful things that were said about him.  

Oh no, this island has way too many egos! It is like an island of Kayne Wests. 

We move on to another day, The Fat Controller is at the platform waiting to speak to Oliver. He sentences Oliver to learn about trucks. (He is done for!)

You're screwed!

Every other engine warns Oliver that trucks are not to be trusted. Oliver argues that they do not think he can handle it. Duck once again tries to warn him but, Oliver is too far up his own butt. Donald insists that Duck let it go and roll with it.

Shh! I really want to see someone screw up as bad as I did back in the day.

Oliver heads off to fill up some trucks with coal. He pushes the empty trucks under the shoot. He then came back to take the loaded trucks away. 

I love this doofus truck.

The trucks did not want to move. They protested that Oliver had no right to be moving them. (Hey they are just practicing stranger danger.)

Oliver starts to loose his cool and begins to biff and buff them around. (Big mistake Oliver.) Oliver pulls them out and the trucks, once again plot revenge. 

The trucks begin to push him forward. The driver foolishly applies the brakes instead of accepting their faith. The trucks push Oliver towards the turntable that Duck is on.

Luckily, it is not the same line as the one Oliver is on. Duck watches as Oliver goes butt first into the pit. 

Popping a wheelie, Oliver?

Duck teases Oliver right away. (Note to self, there is no "Are you okay?" with Duck) Duck mentions that Donald and Douglas are going to miss that turntable while it is out of commission.

That night, Oliver is pulled out of the pit while, The Fat Controller watches. Oliver apologizes while dangling in the air. The Fat Controller, who I suspect knew this was going to happen, sends Oliver to The Works. 

Well that was a dirty trick.

After a few days of being fixed, Oliver is home. He learned the lesson that trucks are dick heads. 

The end!