Season 5 Episode 3: A Better View For Gordon

Gordon is in one of his moods, which was rubbing James the wrong way. James asks Gordon, "What is up his butt, today?"

Gordon lays into James for asking. He explains that he is a great big engine and he has to the right to moody and complain. James on the other hand, is small and he doesn't matter.

Percy butts in, with his dumb remarks about not understanding what is being said. (Yes, Percy is slowly going down to that point of no return.) James goes as far to put it as, Percy is ditz. 

Gordon vows to show them all what a big engine can do. He then puffs away angrily.

Jane Slicker is also in a mood.

Later that day, The Fat Controller speaks to Gordon about making a stop at the new station with an empty Express. He wants Gordon to test it out. 

Gordon complains that Henry should do it, since he like idling at stations. The Fat Controller then tells Gordon to shut his fat engine mouth and do what he is told.

If you don't I am going to make you bunk with Thomas all alone.

Gordon heads out. He started to feel ill while doing his run. His driver explains to Gordon that he needs to go to The Works, he is all clogged up. 

No wonder Gordon is pissy, he needs some Exlax

Gordon arrives at the new station but, he is not impressed. The station is too plain for him. The wall in front of his was just off white and there was buffers for him to stare at. Gordon insists that he needs a panoramic view because, he is as important as royalty. 

I would paint a portrait of Pee-Wee Herman on it.

Gordon is thrilled when it is time to leave. His driver mentions that now, Gordon can have all the fun he wants, as long as his pipes keep going.

Gordon now out on the line, was pushing himself to go fast. He also started this whole denial thing with being sick. Then Gordon blows. He slowly comes to a halt. 

My clogged pipes!

His crew inspects him and come to the conclusion that something broke inside of Gordon. (It is called his cold heart.) They insist that he will have to go to The Works for sure now. 

James arrives to gather Gordon's coaches. And of course, James had to stop to rub it into Gordon's face. It just wouldn't be right to not do it. 

No one on Sodor gets way with any mistakes without being mocked.

A few days later, Gordon returned from The Works. Gordon is still in his mood. He brags while on the turntable that his is the best engine on the island. 

The Fat Controller arrives to gather Gordon for the official opening of the new station. 

Gordon speeds down the line towards the new station. As they approached the station, they discover that Gordon's brakes have become jammed. They couldn't slow Gordon down in time, he then smashed through the plain wall at the station.

It would have great if he would have flown.

The crew and The Fat Controller, looking quit beat up , get into one of those platform cranes to speak to Gordon. The Fat Controller tells Gordon, this was not the way to get his view. 

Hello Gordon, would you like to play with us?

Gordon is sent off The Works again. Once he came back this time, he takes The Fat Controller to the station for the second grand opening. He arrives with no incidents this time.

The Fat Controller gets out and speaks to Gordon. He had the scene of the accident turned into a window in the shape of Gordon's fat face. Gordon loves this and will probably never let anyone else forget it.

The paint is kind of messed up there, boys.

Season 4 Episode 5: Four Little Engines

May I now introduce you to, Skarloey and Rhenesas. They work with the engines formally known as Stuart and Falcon. (Yes, Stuart and Falcon are now, Peter Sam and Sir Handle. ) The four engines work on the Skarloey railway.

Enough of that right now, I see total hottie Edward. 

Edward it has been so long.

The Fat Controller is speaking to Edward. He decides that Edward needs to go to The Works. 

Edward heads off to The Works, there he finds Skarloey. Edwards asks about why Skarloey is there. Skarloey give a sad tale about being put to rest in the shed and missing his bro, Rhenesas. Rhenesas was being mended.

Some strange men arrived to abduct Edward, leaving Skarloey alone. 

And here is Thomas, video bombing.

Meanwhile, we check in with Sir Handel. It seems he is having trouble with his coaches. They are kind of like trucks and don't trust him. 

While heading down his line, he encounters sheep on the rails.

I don't know if anyone saw that video where a cow gets is face destroyed by a train? But this is giving me flashbacks of that. 

Sir Handel stops the train before he mutilates any sheep faces. The coaches take it as Sir Handel has bumped them on purpose and swear to pay him back. So, they push him off the rails. 

No sheep were injured and Sir Handel was put on the rails. He was then sent to the shed. His driver wonder how is suppose to take care of a visitor train when Sir Handel has been put in time out?

Skarloey peeps up asking if can do it?

I am needy!

Skarloey suckers the driver into taking him out. He heads out to gather the nasty coaches for the job. Skarloey then lectures them about being jag offs.

Meh, whatever!

Skarloey then heads off. He cheerfully stops at all the stops. It was all cool until the line started to get a little steep for him. Skarloey began to literally loose steam. His driver says in a very Mister Roger's voice to "Take his time."

Skarloey starts to head down the hill. He begins to break up. One of his springs break and he rides sideways down the hill.

Gangsta style!

They stop Skarloey. The crew wants to get a bus but, Skarloey pleads that he'll do it. (What will happen?)

Meanwhile, at the platform, James is waiting. Skarloey pulls up all sideways with the coaches. They two engines exchange passengers. 

Everyone was excited and thankful for Skarloey. Skarloey is told that he is going to mended up and looking beautiful. Because he is a hero!

My little lopsided engine.

Season 3 Episode 22: Oliver Owns Up

This episode starts off with a beautiful montage of Duck and Oliver working the branch line. The two of them are all over their Great Western Heritage. 

Duck and Oliver are at the harbor, having a conversation on how Douglas is Oliver's hero for saving him. It is Oliver's go to story now.

He even tells the other engines it in the shed that night. The engines throw out a bunch of words to describe Oliver. Gordon throws one out that stumps Percy. And this begins the dumbing down of Percy. 

Sorry Percy, it's true.

The next day, Oliver is puffing along the line. He had became very Gordon-like and big headed from all the wonderful things that were said about him.  

Oh no, this island has way too many egos! It is like an island of Kayne Wests. 

We move on to another day, The Fat Controller is at the platform waiting to speak to Oliver. He sentences Oliver to learn about trucks. (He is done for!)

You're screwed!

Every other engine warns Oliver that trucks are not to be trusted. Oliver argues that they do not think he can handle it. Duck once again tries to warn him but, Oliver is too far up his own butt. Donald insists that Duck let it go and roll with it.

Shh! I really want to see someone screw up as bad as I did back in the day.

Oliver heads off to fill up some trucks with coal. He pushes the empty trucks under the shoot. He then came back to take the loaded trucks away. 

I love this doofus truck.

The trucks did not want to move. They protested that Oliver had no right to be moving them. (Hey they are just practicing stranger danger.)

Oliver starts to loose his cool and begins to biff and buff them around. (Big mistake Oliver.) Oliver pulls them out and the trucks, once again plot revenge. 

The trucks begin to push him forward. The driver foolishly applies the brakes instead of accepting their faith. The trucks push Oliver towards the turntable that Duck is on.

Luckily, it is not the same line as the one Oliver is on. Duck watches as Oliver goes butt first into the pit. 

Popping a wheelie, Oliver?

Duck teases Oliver right away. (Note to self, there is no "Are you okay?" with Duck) Duck mentions that Donald and Douglas are going to miss that turntable while it is out of commission.

That night, Oliver is pulled out of the pit while, The Fat Controller watches. Oliver apologizes while dangling in the air. The Fat Controller, who I suspect knew this was going to happen, sends Oliver to The Works. 

Well that was a dirty trick.

After a few days of being fixed, Oliver is home. He learned the lesson that trucks are dick heads. 

The end!

Season 3 Episode 3: Time For Trouble

If you name an episode, "Time For Trouble" it has to be snark worthy!

It is still tourist season on Sodor. The Slave Driver is working his engines tail ends off. Gordon of course, is grumping at the coaches to pick it up. The Fat Controller has been extra demanding on him. He has been doing trains one after another. 

Being a nice slave driver, one particular day, The Fat Controller gives Gordon a break.

Psst.... James, is this a test of some kind?

He decides to have James do Gordon's work. (Aw, here it goes!)

James was thrilled to be doing Gordon's very important work. He wanted everyone to see that red coat of his and how fast he could be. (Wait, I figured it out. James is suppose to be for the red haired kids)

James rolls up to Toby. James goes all Gordon on Toby. He starts to brag about being so important. Toby really doesn't give a flying mongoose. 

As usual, The Fat Controller just appears out of nowhere.

I love the look on his porter's face. He is cereal.

He sends Toby to The Works to get his old man parts mended. Toby begs to brings Henrietta Pussycat with him. The Fat Controller is like, "Ah hell no!" and leaves. 

Toby on his way out, runs into Percy. Percy agrees to take care of Henrietta for him.

Toby makes his way down the mainline. Due to Toby being a tram, he has a hard time making it the full way without water. He begins to feel thirsty.

Toby makes it to a station with a water tower. He starts to fill up when a new signal man comes up. He needs the line clear for The Express. Toby has to fill up at the next station. Toby's driver tries to argue but, the noob will not agree to let him finish.

Elder abuse!

Toby was trying to hurry but, hurrying was using up more water then it should. Thanks to the noob signal man, Toby ran out water and became stranded on the mainline. 

Percy puffs up with Henrietta Pussycat. The Fireman flags him down and demands to be taken back to the station to warn James about Toby on the line. He should probably kick the signal man's butt too.

I'm up for an ass kicking.

James, still pretending to be Gordon, hears the news and all he can do is complain about being late. Never mind Toby, sitting on the tracks dehydrated. 

The noob signal man admits it was his fault. And James' driver informs James that he is going to have to push Toby. 

I don't want to be down wind from an old man.

James sets off, grumbling the whole time. He finds Toby and rather rudely bumps him and sets back off.  

They pull into The Works' station. James at this moment is pooped out. But the kids on the platform don't care. They begin to make fun of James by joking that it took two engines to pull The Express. 

Toby reassures James that they are only joking. But, James is ticked.

The moral of the story....

Kids are heartless...

Season 2 Episode 11: Percy Takes The Plunge

At the harbor, we find Henry just wanting to take a rest. But, Percy is jib jabbing away in Henry's resting spot to two other engines. Percy is going on about how he braves storms and eyeball deep water to help Thomas. Henry then backs in, and tells the two engines to shoo. The shed is only for The Fat Controller's slaves. 

Then Henry stole Gordon's face.

Percy is quite peeved that Henry has shooed away his friends. Henry calls Percy silly and mocks him for a line he used in his story. "Water is nothing for an engine with determination. "

Percy just runs off singing about Henry being scared of rain and being bricked in the tunnel. This causes Henry to be butt hurt.

Percy puffs up along Thomas. We find Thomas looking at a board at the key that reads, "Danger, Engine Must Not Pass This Board." 

Thomas recalls the time he derped out and went pass a board. I have a feeling that Percy has to test it anyhow. But, what he doesn't know is the foundation is as soft as a kitten's butt. The rails are sinking down into the sea. 

Whatever

One day later on, Percy whispers to his trucks to give him a push at the sign. Percy plans to pretend to stop at the station and have the trucks push him pass the board. What could go wrong trusting those buttholes? 

The trucks push him and keep pushing him right into the sea.

That worked so well.

The Fat Controller shows up and gives Percy a verbal beating. Percy pleads to be let out. But, The Fat Controller insists that Percy will have to wait until high tide.

Percy had to wait until it was dark. They brought in some floating cranes to aid in his rescue. 

That actually looks fun.

The next day, Henry pulls Percy to The Works. Henry rolls with the jokes on Percy. He teases Percy about needing more determination.  

Season 2 Episode 5: Old Iron

We find James impatiently waiting on my Eddie. James tries to berate Edward but, Ol' Edward he just laughs. James then puffs off furiously.

One day James, you'll be old too. And you won't be as good looking.

After James finishes his jobs for the slave driver, The Fat Controller, he heads to the turntable and to tuck in for the night. And of course he was still in a bad mood. I personally think this is because he is red. Red is an angry color. 

James goes off on a tangent about how horrible Edward is to the other engines. 

Percy and Thomas look as annoyed as I am with James.

Percy and Thomas egg James on about how Edward could totally cream him in a race and honestly anything. James is just so eww to me. He is everything I hate in people in a model engine. Sorry James fans.

The next morning, we find that James' driver is sick. He is pale as a ghost. Another theory is he must be drinking pals with Thomas' fireman. 

Or James makes him sick, also.

The fireman uncoupled James and decided to get James ready for shunting. But James as always, was impatient and suddenly took off down the line. Or so it seems. 

The signal man halts all traffic and notifies the fireman about his obnoxious engine. He states that he saw two invisible boys playing his James' foot plates. 

And "Brrrrrrrrraaaaa riiiiing" the telephone rang. The signal man answers, the inspector is on the phone. He wants a duck and hose ASAP. Just kidding he wants a shunters' pole and some rope.

Oh dear god, what is he going to do with a duck and a hose?

The fireman gathers the items and hops on Edward. Who has lost his eyebrows.

Edward is so bad ass, he lost his eyebrows going through rails of fire.

Eyebrowless Edward takes off and we cut to James laughing and having a good ol' time. All was good for James until he starts to speed up. Then all hell breaks loose. James just now realizes that he has no driver. I guess they can't feel people inside them.

Edward hurries down the line to catch up with James. He huffs and puffs until adorably out of breath. He does eventually catch up. 

The inspector then tries to lasso James like the cowboy he is from Edward.

Get along little doggies!

He eventually catches James by the buffer. Edward's driver breaks and James' fireman scrambles across the engines gathering control of James. 

Once under control, Edward and James run next to each other. James apologizes and let's Edward know how awesome he really is.

The engines arrive at the station, where The Fat Controller is awaiting. 

You boys look good in rouge.

He awards James a rest and then it's back to work. And Edward, he is getting some new parts from Dr.Ray at The Works. 

I just love him!