Season 4 Episode 15: Rusty To The Rescue

Introducing, the BlueBell Railway. Rusty loves to visit there. It is his version of Henry's forest. 

One day, Rusty is taking on water when Thomas passes by. Thomas points out that Rusty's driver looks worried. (Well, he works on Sodor and these engines are screw ups.) Rusty asks his driver, "What's his butt?"
The driver thinks the railway needs a new engine to help. 

And I have to poop!

Rusty pulls up to Douglas and Percy and questions "Where he can find another slave on Sodor?"

Douglas brings up the "Other Railway" where he found Oliver. He states he can not help since it is now diesel territory. This makes little Rusty determined to go on his own.

Um, I have a headache!

Rusty later tells his driver all about what they are going to do. The driver came back to the shed that night and informed Rusty. "His plan is a go per the manager." So, the two plan to go the following day because, screw work!

The next day, Rusty heads out. It takes so long to get to the other railway that it was night by the time he arrived. He creeps into the old scrapyard and immediately gets the willies. 

Thomas! He's dead!

Some diesels on the sidings, shout at Rusty. Rusty claims, he is an inspection engine and he wants to stamp their underwear. This works on the diesels and tricks them into giving away the location of one very lonely steam engine. 

I win!

Rusty goes on to find a little tank engine on a siding looking pitiful. His driver, who is very attached to this engine is huddled up inside the cab chilling out. (Is he homeless?)

But at least, he looks fierce!

Rusty sneaks up beside the engine and asks, "If he likes Bluebells?"

The engine answered he does. Rusty explains that he is there to bust him out.

The crew work to commence the rescuing. They fire up the new engine, Stepney and set off. 

Just like E.T.

When the two engines arrive back, a celebration is taking place. And for the first time, we see the BlueBell Railway's manager.

He reminds me of The Reverend from Dr. Quinn. But, I doubt most of you know that reference.

Stepney's driver remarks, "That you are one lucky son of a bitch, Stepney!" (And I am sure he is thrilled he is not sleeping in the cab anymore.)

Now a days, Stepney is enjoying his life on the BBR and no longer fearing his death by scraping. Well, until he was retired this year...

Aw, shit!

Season 4 Episode 14: Gallant Old Engine

Duncan Doughnut is still angry over being rejected by a little girl from being polished and all that other crap he pulled prior. Skarloey has had it with Duncan being his usual ass self and wishes that Rheneas would return to teach Duncan some R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Which leads us to story time with Skarloey...

Come dream with me tonight...

Skarloey flashes back into a story that took place before the other engines have arrived. Back then, things where bad. The railway relied on both Skarloey and Rheneas to keep it a float. 

He goes on to tell us how Rheneas, was a little engine that could and would keep going. Even if he was running out of steam. He was all about that pax. 

Duncan interrupts story time and gives a big screw you passengers. Skarloey keeps it going with a story about how Rheneas stopped once at unscheduled place.

Yes Duncan, I am bored with this story too.

One rainy and nasty day, Rheneas had a train that was bogged down with passengers. He started to head up a hill and he began to slip on the steep climb. But ol' Rheneas kept going finally, griping the tracks. 

Rheneas made it up the hill, only to get a huge cramp.

A lady engine would know how to deal with that. Get Mavis.

Rheneas grinded to stop, his crew got out to inspect. They found that Rheneas has a jammed valve gear. (Ouch!) The driver insists that he has to make it to the next station. Rheneas starts up again slow and steady.

His motivation to keep going was not ticking the passengers off. Rheneas was afraid that if they complain, the railway would close.

Finally, Rheneas reaches the next station. 

I mean shack in the woods.

The passengers where thrilled with Rheneas that they made it. And they would make sure that the word was spread about this awesome event in history. Rheneas had saved the railway.

And that was the end of that story. It really did the trick in straightening out Duncan. (Maury is telling me this is a lie.)

The next day, Rheneas came home to a gaggle of engines.

Henry was pissed about it. 

The engines all make noise pollution and welcome the little engine home. Skarloey was the most excited though, his bro has came home. 

Reunited and it feels so good.

Season 4 Episode 13: Passengers and Polish

Today we meet Nancy, who is one of the guard's daughter. She is out helping out making the engines looks beautiful and sexy as hell. 
Nancy is working on Skarloey and would at least like some friendly conversation with him. But, Skarloey refuses to talk to her, he rather daydream about his bro, Rheneas and how he misses him.

At least she is not polishing his knob.

Nancy interrupts Skarloey's dreams with the news that Rheneas is one his way back soon. Skarloey nearly steams himself with excitement. He begs Nancy to give him the ultimate makeover for Rheneas' return. 

Duncan puffs up along Skarloey and rather perversely asks to be polished too. (It's a snark blog, I've been easy so far.)

I have candy in bunker.

Nancy, in my mind, creeped out by Duncan refuses to polish him. She insists that she has to help The Refreshment Lady with ices for the passengers. And excuses herself yelling, "Stranger Danger!" 

Duncan rejected, goes into a rant about how he is left out. Everyone is getting new things but him. This sets Duncan's mood for the whole day. He then goes along with his business griping about it.

Later that afternoon, Duncan's driver gets the news that one of Skarloey's coaches derailed and he needs rescued. After arguing, Duncan and crew grab some workmen and head up to help. 

Duncan finds that Skarloey's coaches derailed in the middle. Skarloey had taken the front coaches to the top station and had left the rest for Duncan to take home.

How does one do that?

Taking on the rest the load really pushes Duncan's asshole meter to high. He complains the whole way, about being used and abused. In fact, he uses up all his energy on complaining and runs himself out of steam. His driver waits to see if he can get Duncan to build up some more but, it isn't working.

Oh Duncan Doughnuts, you're going for the "Snarkies, Biggest Asshole" award aren't you?

Eventually, after biting his driver's head off about not caring about him and only the paying passengers, Duncan builds up steam again. 

Duncan hits the viaduct before the station and his driver bribes him with the promise of rest and water if he finishes the job. But, that backfires in the driver's face. Duncan stops and refuses to move again.

Oh that, Duncan!

Poor Skarloey, has to come up to the viaduct and drag Duncan's pissy ass to the station. 

At the station, the passenger storm off and start the complaining.  (Once again, don't they check the ratings of this railway?)

That night, The Fat Controller rolls in and hands it to Duncan. The crew just brushes it off as Duncan has a lot of learning to do.

So basically, they accepted that he's an asshole.

Season 4 Episode 12: Steam Roller

Sir Handel has something he would like to show you. It's his wee little cute wheels. They literally keep him on track. The other engines make fun his wheels calling them, "Steam Roller Wheels." I just call them training wheels.

I got a brand new pair of roller skates.

Peter Sam assures Sir Handel that the other engines just don't understand sport performance parts like they do, since he rocks that funnel. 

Skarloey wants to introduce Sir Handel to his enemy, George The Steam Roller since they have similar wheels. And he thinks it would be funny to see Sir Handel met another not nice machine on Sodor. 

It just so happens that George is just off to the side.

There are so many wonderful personalities on Sodor.

They engines look over at George working. The whole time he is working he is complaining about how engines are a thing of the past. He wants all the rails turned into roads. George even has a chant for it. All he needs is a picket sign. 

Sir Handel takes the challenge. He waits to later that morning, while George is at a crossing. The two fight over who has the better steam roller wheels and a duel is drawn.

Do do do doo wah wah waaahh

A little later in the day Sir Handel comes back around the road. He sees good ol' Georgy boy working away. He gets up next him and tries to peep him out f the way. But, George ignores him. The two ride side by side since the road was so tight. They throw insults across at each other, until George's road rage kicked in. He deliberately rammed into Sir Handel's train causing him to derail. 

That's just driving, here in Montana. 

The two nearly caused a gang war with the two crews on who's fault it was. Fortunately, before knives could be drawn a sexy police officer arrives and breaks it up. 

Did somebody call the police? *drops boombox*

The crews work together to clean the mess up and they even construct a fence along the road and the railway. George's crew take him away, after the fence was built. This give Sir Handel the idea he made George disappear. Sir Handel then turns into the bragging hero, driving the other engines nuts.

That awkward moment when you walk into a room and your coworkers are talking about you.

Sir Handel's victory didn't last long. A gang of boys arrive and start teasing him over the accident. They claim that the steam roller nearly beat him. This made Sir Handel sulk in silence on the subject of steam rollers.

Who let's their kids hang around heavy machinery like that? Or what railway does?

Season 4 Episode 11: Special Funnel

Ahoy winter time! Our boy, Peter Sam is creeping along the line. And he is still banged up from his wreck. His funnel is dangling in the wind. 

Peter Sam carries onward home where, the other engines make fun of his wonky funnel. (I personally think it is okay. Some people just hang a little to one side.) Peter Sam explains that his manager ordered him a new and improved one. He is just waiting for it to arrive.

Oh my gosh, is that Duke? I thought he disappeared again.

The weather turns for the worst. The wind is picking up and the rain is washing out the lines.  Rusty and the crew are working hard to clear the lines. He gets notice that they are needed, a bunch of branches has destroyed a bridge. The job takes a long to time complete. (Sometimes, these stories at some pointless subplot in them and it drives me crazy.)

And they all hope it doesn't turn into the viaduct again.

Finally, it is fixed and Peter Sam carefully takes his coaches over the bridge. Next he heads towards the tunnel. He comes out the other end only to find that he poked his funnel out with an icicle. 

Don't lie you did it with a BB gun.

Peter Sam heads off again without his funnel. The crew finds that without his funnel, Peter Sam is giving them the black lung with his smoke. They spot an old drain pipe on the side of the track and they rope it to his head. 

This just turned kinky.

Peter Sam arrives back to the sheds, where all the other engines begin to make fun of him. Sir Handel even turns into Justin Bieber and belts out a song about for us.

They continued teasing him for what seems like years, until his new funnel arrived. The Fat Controller presents to him the best funnel you'll ever see. 

What the....?

Peter Sam is skeptical of this funnel, it seems flat. The Fat Controller assures that if he waits and see, he'll find out it's a sport funnel.

Peter Sam goes on a run, trying out his new sports package. It works so well for him that all the other narrow gauge engines are super jelly of him. So jealous we end with Skaloey, Rhenesas, and Sir Handel looking butt hurt.

My lovely engine lumps.

Season 4 Episode 10: Rock N' Roll

Skarloey is in the best mood ever, one morning. He was tooting all over the line. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if he ran into singing bluebirds and butterflies. 

He comes to stop to talk to Rusty. Skarloey compliments Rusty on his awesome job of keeping the rails safe and smooth. Skarloey's and Rusty's bromace blossoms further with the nice words.

Let me tell you, about my best friend.

The two of them run down the line, discussing a spot near the station that is troublesome. Especially, for engines who like to rock n' roll. *cough* Duncan. 

Just then Duncan rocks in. He starts to yell at the two for talking about him. Rusty explains what he was saying abut the bad spot in the line. Duncan brushes it off as diesel talk and hurts poor little Rusty's feelings.

Cause I'm an asshole!

Duncan goes about to the yard and gathers his coaches. Of course, he does this roughly. He heads off to the station where James is waiting. James complains about him being late. So, Duncan blames it all on Rusty. This causes the two engines to discuss their racist issues with diesels. James even claims to have made a diesel pack his bags. Duncan takes this to heart.

You guys need some counseling for your racist issues.

Duncan goes along his line chanting, "Send Rusty packing!" As Duncan approaches the next station he begins to become cocky about nothing happening to him yet. His driver yells at him to slow down but, hey this is Sodor, Duncan derails.

Oh, like you didn't see that coming?

Meanwhile with Rusty, he hears the news and tells Skarloey he warned him. Rusty refuses to go and help him. (I don't blame him) But, Skarloey has a heart and urges Rusty to do it for the passengers. Rusty decides to go head off and help Duncan, for the passengers.

Rusty arrives to help. And being The Fat Controller's railway, once again the passengers had to get out and help put Duncan on the line. 

If I didn't know better, I would think Sodor was in Russia. 

After being put back in the line, Duncan was extra carefu. He remembered The Fat Controller, was going to cut off his funnel. 

That evening, Duncan has a heart to heart with Rusty. He apologizes and Rusty accepts. 

And the duo, RustCan was born!

Season 4 Episode 9: Home At Last

Skarloey is home from the works. While being unloaded, he meets Rusty and rather impressed by his pleasant personalty and untouchable charm.

I smell a bromace!

Meanwhile with poor Peter Sam, he is feeling rather low from his beating he took from the trucks. The Fat Controller arrives to order him to another day of shed rest. But, he does has a surprise for Peter Sam. And that perks him right up.

And what is his surprise? Well, it is Skarloey! (I would have requested Edward.) They fire up ol' Skarloey while he speaks with Peter Sam. Skarloey is purring like a kitten and is feeling as frisky as one too. 

Let's go pick up some cougars! Rawwr!

The two engines speak of an engine named Duncan, who hates Rusty. (What? How can you hate Rusty?!) Peter Sam goes on to explain that Duncan was brought in a spare after his accident. And that Duncan is a real asshole, who is a rock n' roller.

Asshole Express, coming through!

Skarloey's driver interrupts the town gossip with news that Duncan is stuck and the tunnel and they are needed to get him out. Skarloey gathers up the troupes and heads out.

Skarloey finds Duncan stuck in the halfway collapsed tunnel complaining about how horrible the railway is. Duncan's driver lets him have it about rock n' rolling in the tunnel.

I wish I had the job to run the miniature railway at the zoo.

The workers work at clearing the tunnel to get Duncan out. Once clear, Skarloey gave a helping push. The two head home, all the while with Duncan complaining about life. 

That evening, The Fat Controller came in to give Duncan a talking to. He crushes Duncan's secret dreams of being a pop star by telling him to cut out his rock n' rolling.  Then The Fat Controller, does the unthinkable, he threaten to cut off Duncan's funnel and career. (WTF!?)

Muhahaha! I'll cut off your penis!

The threat of having his "funnel" cut off was enough to scare Duncan so bad, that he behaved for a week. 

And this week's long distance dedication goes to, Duncan.

Season 4 Episode 8: Trucks

Harold the snob, is out looking for tourists who are injured in the mountains. He is just about to head home when a tiny diesel catches his eyes. He stops and introduces himself. The diesel states that he is, Rusty and The Fat Controller sent for him. 

The two then break it up. Rusty heads off to The Top Station.

Does Rusty come off as a girl to anyone else?

Peter Sam and Sir Handel have been waiting for Rusty arrive. And of course, Sir Handel is in his mood. He begins to bump trucks about. Oh and guess what? The trucks want revenge on him.

Gordon puffs up next to Sir Handel. He tells Sir Handel to play hooky so, he doesn't have to shunt truck. Sir Handel loves this idea. 

The next morning, he does just that. No one had the time to bust him so, Peter Sam again takes on extra work for him. 

James did it better.

Peter Sam takes off with some of Sir Handel's coaches for the day. While Rusty follows with the rest. 

At the station, Peter Sam drops off his coaches. He then hitches to the back of Rusty's train. 

They head off to drop their load off. There they have their trucks filled with rocks, they are filled with rocks on top of a slope. The trucks are then sent down.

Sometimes, it is just easier to post the picture.

Peter Sam is at the bottom waiting for his trucks. The trucks who are as colored blind as me, think it is Sir Handel down at the bottom and begin their revenge.

They headed down the mountain as fast as they could. The empty trucks tried to shout out that they were mistaken. But, it was too late. The chains snap and the loaded carts go flying. 

Peter Sam sat at the bottom with his eyes shut, waiting for his faith. 

Or he is sneezing.

And holy My Little Pony, truck go flying everywhere. Peter Sam is covered with debris. 

Luckily, Rusty was close by. He worked at clearing the wreckage. 

Asshat trucks!

Once Peter Sam was free, he was in horrible shape. Poor Peter Sam, limps home. (Why is it, that the good engines always seem to have wrecks?)

At the shed, Sir Handel apologizes. Peter Sam, rightfully so, was still angry at him. 

Let it all out Peter Sam.

As he always does, The Fat Controller came out of no where. He commands that Sir Handel now has to take on Peter Sam's work as well as his own. 

Meanwhile with Rusty, he was beginning to head home when he meets up with Harold again. They congratulate each other on being awesome and they both head their separate ways. 

Oh Harold, you annoy me.