The End Of Season/Series 4 The Snarkies

I figure we are about due to another round of Snarky awards. Let's start!

Best Old Man Of The Season

Duke

It was a hard choice with all the eligible old men on Sodor. But, I'll give it to Duke this season. It may be out of pity since he has pretty much becomes missing in action after this season. 

Biggest Asshole Of The Season

Bulstrode

There are many nasty characters on Sodor. But, Bulstrode was so mean and nasty we only see him once.

Biggest Mystery Of The Season

What happened to Smudger?

We do know that he was made into a generator. But, what happened when the mine closed? Is he buried in the ruins? Or is he just plain dead? Such burning questions.

Best Animal Act Of The Season

Champion

He scared Daisy and that is something to be cheered. He just did it so brilliantly. 

Best Stunt Of The Season

Skarloey

Just look at the grace and finesse that Skarloey has pulling in that station. That is perfection.

Most In Need Of Anger Management This Season 

Duncan

Everything angers Duncan. He really is in need of anger management classes. 

Best Scene Of The Season

Rusty and Stepney E.T.ing it

This is such a beautiful scene. Look at all the details put in it. 

Best Crash Of The Season

Thomas going over the hill

It had to be this one. I just love seeing Thomas fly over the hill and into a wall. There is just something about someone as cocky as him screwing up.

That's it for this season's snarky. It really hasn't been that much of a snarky season but, Season 5 is a good one. Join me Monday, as we dive into it. 

Season 4 Episode 14: Gallant Old Engine

Duncan Doughnut is still angry over being rejected by a little girl from being polished and all that other crap he pulled prior. Skarloey has had it with Duncan being his usual ass self and wishes that Rheneas would return to teach Duncan some R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Which leads us to story time with Skarloey...

Come dream with me tonight...

Skarloey flashes back into a story that took place before the other engines have arrived. Back then, things where bad. The railway relied on both Skarloey and Rheneas to keep it a float. 

He goes on to tell us how Rheneas, was a little engine that could and would keep going. Even if he was running out of steam. He was all about that pax. 

Duncan interrupts story time and gives a big screw you passengers. Skarloey keeps it going with a story about how Rheneas stopped once at unscheduled place.

Yes Duncan, I am bored with this story too.

One rainy and nasty day, Rheneas had a train that was bogged down with passengers. He started to head up a hill and he began to slip on the steep climb. But ol' Rheneas kept going finally, griping the tracks. 

Rheneas made it up the hill, only to get a huge cramp.

A lady engine would know how to deal with that. Get Mavis.

Rheneas grinded to stop, his crew got out to inspect. They found that Rheneas has a jammed valve gear. (Ouch!) The driver insists that he has to make it to the next station. Rheneas starts up again slow and steady.

His motivation to keep going was not ticking the passengers off. Rheneas was afraid that if they complain, the railway would close.

Finally, Rheneas reaches the next station. 

I mean shack in the woods.

The passengers where thrilled with Rheneas that they made it. And they would make sure that the word was spread about this awesome event in history. Rheneas had saved the railway.

And that was the end of that story. It really did the trick in straightening out Duncan. (Maury is telling me this is a lie.)

The next day, Rheneas came home to a gaggle of engines.

Henry was pissed about it. 

The engines all make noise pollution and welcome the little engine home. Skarloey was the most excited though, his bro has came home. 

Reunited and it feels so good.

Season 4 Episode 13: Passengers and Polish

Today we meet Nancy, who is one of the guard's daughter. She is out helping out making the engines looks beautiful and sexy as hell. 
Nancy is working on Skarloey and would at least like some friendly conversation with him. But, Skarloey refuses to talk to her, he rather daydream about his bro, Rheneas and how he misses him.

At least she is not polishing his knob.

Nancy interrupts Skarloey's dreams with the news that Rheneas is one his way back soon. Skarloey nearly steams himself with excitement. He begs Nancy to give him the ultimate makeover for Rheneas' return. 

Duncan puffs up along Skarloey and rather perversely asks to be polished too. (It's a snark blog, I've been easy so far.)

I have candy in bunker.

Nancy, in my mind, creeped out by Duncan refuses to polish him. She insists that she has to help The Refreshment Lady with ices for the passengers. And excuses herself yelling, "Stranger Danger!" 

Duncan rejected, goes into a rant about how he is left out. Everyone is getting new things but him. This sets Duncan's mood for the whole day. He then goes along with his business griping about it.

Later that afternoon, Duncan's driver gets the news that one of Skarloey's coaches derailed and he needs rescued. After arguing, Duncan and crew grab some workmen and head up to help. 

Duncan finds that Skarloey's coaches derailed in the middle. Skarloey had taken the front coaches to the top station and had left the rest for Duncan to take home.

How does one do that?

Taking on the rest the load really pushes Duncan's asshole meter to high. He complains the whole way, about being used and abused. In fact, he uses up all his energy on complaining and runs himself out of steam. His driver waits to see if he can get Duncan to build up some more but, it isn't working.

Oh Duncan Doughnuts, you're going for the "Snarkies, Biggest Asshole" award aren't you?

Eventually, after biting his driver's head off about not caring about him and only the paying passengers, Duncan builds up steam again. 

Duncan hits the viaduct before the station and his driver bribes him with the promise of rest and water if he finishes the job. But, that backfires in the driver's face. Duncan stops and refuses to move again.

Oh that, Duncan!

Poor Skarloey, has to come up to the viaduct and drag Duncan's pissy ass to the station. 

At the station, the passenger storm off and start the complaining.  (Once again, don't they check the ratings of this railway?)

That night, The Fat Controller rolls in and hands it to Duncan. The crew just brushes it off as Duncan has a lot of learning to do.

So basically, they accepted that he's an asshole.

Season 4 Episode 10: Rock N' Roll

Skarloey is in the best mood ever, one morning. He was tooting all over the line. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if he ran into singing bluebirds and butterflies. 

He comes to stop to talk to Rusty. Skarloey compliments Rusty on his awesome job of keeping the rails safe and smooth. Skarloey's and Rusty's bromace blossoms further with the nice words.

Let me tell you, about my best friend.

The two of them run down the line, discussing a spot near the station that is troublesome. Especially, for engines who like to rock n' roll. *cough* Duncan. 

Just then Duncan rocks in. He starts to yell at the two for talking about him. Rusty explains what he was saying abut the bad spot in the line. Duncan brushes it off as diesel talk and hurts poor little Rusty's feelings.

Cause I'm an asshole!

Duncan goes about to the yard and gathers his coaches. Of course, he does this roughly. He heads off to the station where James is waiting. James complains about him being late. So, Duncan blames it all on Rusty. This causes the two engines to discuss their racist issues with diesels. James even claims to have made a diesel pack his bags. Duncan takes this to heart.

You guys need some counseling for your racist issues.

Duncan goes along his line chanting, "Send Rusty packing!" As Duncan approaches the next station he begins to become cocky about nothing happening to him yet. His driver yells at him to slow down but, hey this is Sodor, Duncan derails.

Oh, like you didn't see that coming?

Meanwhile with Rusty, he hears the news and tells Skarloey he warned him. Rusty refuses to go and help him. (I don't blame him) But, Skarloey has a heart and urges Rusty to do it for the passengers. Rusty decides to go head off and help Duncan, for the passengers.

Rusty arrives to help. And being The Fat Controller's railway, once again the passengers had to get out and help put Duncan on the line. 

If I didn't know better, I would think Sodor was in Russia. 

After being put back in the line, Duncan was extra carefu. He remembered The Fat Controller, was going to cut off his funnel. 

That evening, Duncan has a heart to heart with Rusty. He apologizes and Rusty accepts. 

And the duo, RustCan was born!

Season 4 Episode 9: Home At Last

Skarloey is home from the works. While being unloaded, he meets Rusty and rather impressed by his pleasant personalty and untouchable charm.

I smell a bromace!

Meanwhile with poor Peter Sam, he is feeling rather low from his beating he took from the trucks. The Fat Controller arrives to order him to another day of shed rest. But, he does has a surprise for Peter Sam. And that perks him right up.

And what is his surprise? Well, it is Skarloey! (I would have requested Edward.) They fire up ol' Skarloey while he speaks with Peter Sam. Skarloey is purring like a kitten and is feeling as frisky as one too. 

Let's go pick up some cougars! Rawwr!

The two engines speak of an engine named Duncan, who hates Rusty. (What? How can you hate Rusty?!) Peter Sam goes on to explain that Duncan was brought in a spare after his accident. And that Duncan is a real asshole, who is a rock n' roller.

Asshole Express, coming through!

Skarloey's driver interrupts the town gossip with news that Duncan is stuck and the tunnel and they are needed to get him out. Skarloey gathers up the troupes and heads out.

Skarloey finds Duncan stuck in the halfway collapsed tunnel complaining about how horrible the railway is. Duncan's driver lets him have it about rock n' rolling in the tunnel.

I wish I had the job to run the miniature railway at the zoo.

The workers work at clearing the tunnel to get Duncan out. Once clear, Skarloey gave a helping push. The two head home, all the while with Duncan complaining about life. 

That evening, The Fat Controller came in to give Duncan a talking to. He crushes Duncan's secret dreams of being a pop star by telling him to cut out his rock n' rolling.  Then The Fat Controller, does the unthinkable, he threaten to cut off Duncan's funnel and career. (WTF!?)

Muhahaha! I'll cut off your penis!

The threat of having his "funnel" cut off was enough to scare Duncan so bad, that he behaved for a week. 

And this week's long distance dedication goes to, Duncan.