Season 4 Episode 21: Bulls Eyes

Toby pulls up on the one and only, Kim Kardashian of Sodor, Daisy. Daisy starts to tease Toby for having cow catchers. She states that Toby is only afraid of hurting himself. Daisy declares all she has to do it toot at the cows. Animals always run in fear if you toot and look them in the eye, even bulls. 
In fact, Daisy has never seen a bull.

Toby is trying not to loose it at all this toot talk.

Daisy heads off to her run, all the while with her sexy theme music playing. At the station, the fuzz was waiting for Daisy. He informs Daisy that a bull is on the line. She must clear it and return it to the farmer. Daisy is excited at the opportunity to show up Toby.

Now, I must solve the mystery of this man's missing mouth.

The bull's name is Champion and today is the day that someone pissed in his Wheaties. He broke through his fence and headed down the hill onto the line. Champion now has become lost.

That bull is already pre-cut 

Daisy sways up the line while Champion is munching on some grass. Daisy gets behind the bull and toots. She yells at him to go home and nothing. 

Daisy begins to complain about how the bull is being a total jag off not turning around for her so she can look him in the eye. 

Just then, Champion turned around and mooed at her. Daisy starts to turn into a chicken shit and tries to whine herself out of the situation. Champion then gets right into her face and sniffs her. Daisy takes off backwards.

Kim and Kayne

Toby approaches Daisy who is sulking in a shed. Toby took great delight in the fact the bull scared her. Toby teased her and took off to take care of Daisy's unfinished business.

Toby finds Champion and rings his bell at him. Nothing happened, except the bull was looking for the ice cream man. Toby then wooshes him with steam. And that does the trick. 

Later that evening, Daisy pulls up to the platform. There was some boys to tease her. They offer her Bulls Eyes candy and rub it in. Daisy leaves feeling like a loser. 

It just wouldn't be a Thomas episode without teasing. 

Season 4 Episode 12: Steam Roller

Sir Handel has something he would like to show you. It's his wee little cute wheels. They literally keep him on track. The other engines make fun his wheels calling them, "Steam Roller Wheels." I just call them training wheels.

I got a brand new pair of roller skates.

Peter Sam assures Sir Handel that the other engines just don't understand sport performance parts like they do, since he rocks that funnel. 

Skarloey wants to introduce Sir Handel to his enemy, George The Steam Roller since they have similar wheels. And he thinks it would be funny to see Sir Handel met another not nice machine on Sodor. 

It just so happens that George is just off to the side.

There are so many wonderful personalities on Sodor.

They engines look over at George working. The whole time he is working he is complaining about how engines are a thing of the past. He wants all the rails turned into roads. George even has a chant for it. All he needs is a picket sign. 

Sir Handel takes the challenge. He waits to later that morning, while George is at a crossing. The two fight over who has the better steam roller wheels and a duel is drawn.

Do do do doo wah wah waaahh

A little later in the day Sir Handel comes back around the road. He sees good ol' Georgy boy working away. He gets up next him and tries to peep him out f the way. But, George ignores him. The two ride side by side since the road was so tight. They throw insults across at each other, until George's road rage kicked in. He deliberately rammed into Sir Handel's train causing him to derail. 

That's just driving, here in Montana. 

The two nearly caused a gang war with the two crews on who's fault it was. Fortunately, before knives could be drawn a sexy police officer arrives and breaks it up. 

Did somebody call the police? *drops boombox*

The crews work together to clean the mess up and they even construct a fence along the road and the railway. George's crew take him away, after the fence was built. This give Sir Handel the idea he made George disappear. Sir Handel then turns into the bragging hero, driving the other engines nuts.

That awkward moment when you walk into a room and your coworkers are talking about you.

Sir Handel's victory didn't last long. A gang of boys arrive and start teasing him over the accident. They claim that the steam roller nearly beat him. This made Sir Handel sulk in silence on the subject of steam rollers.

Who let's their kids hang around heavy machinery like that? Or what railway does?

Season 1 Episode 22: Thomas In Trouble

Ah man, you tell me I have to get through a Thomas story to figure out what happens to Toby? Ugh, alright!

So, there is a line that goes to a quarry on Thomas' branch. The line is near the road. Since Thomas does not want to squash anyone or thing he whistles.

Imagine it cuter 

Early in the morning, Thomas sees the po po sitting by the line. Thomas once knew the prior constable and whistles. But this one is a tank engine hater. 

I am the Gordon of police officers

The officer is peed off due to not sleeping well and Thomas whistled behind his back. And like a typical cop he looks for what he can ticket. The fact that Thomas has no cow catchers shall do. Thomas jokes, "That he doesn't catch cows."

The officer is even more pissed. He looks for other issues. He finds that Thomas also doesn't have side plates. 

And I planted pot in wheels

He declares Thomas dangerous. Thomas' driver protests that they have done this a hundred times and have never had a problem. Now, this gives the officer a power boner and he calls Thomas a "Regular Law Breaker". It is his book now.

This is the lamest episode of Cops ever

Thomas puffs away after being harassed and we cut to The Fat Controller eating his breakfast. The Butler interrupts with a phone call. He finds that Thomas is steps away from the clink and he must go.

I better call Saul!

At the station, Thomas' driver explains what a butthole the officer is. The Fat Controller then tries to argue with the policeman and comes up short. This officer must be a recent graduate of the academy. 

The Fat Controller says, "He'll have to make some cow catchers for Thomas."

Thomas insists they will bs steam engine social suicide and all the other engines will make fun of him for looking like a trammy. Good point, I know Gordon would be the first to do so.

Can I just have braces?

The word Tram hits The Fat Controller like a load of bricks. He remembers Toby and he wants to give him that portion of the line. 

The Fat Controller writes his driver and requests his trammy. Toby is glad to respond and heads out to the land of Thomas' branch line. He even brings Henrietta Pussycat. 

Toby now runs the portion of the line. Toby makes sure that he rings his bell at the officer everyday to piss in his Wheaties. 

Oy! You stinking Tram!

Of course, Toby ticking off the policeman tickles Thomas so much they are now friends. 

Now if he can only get Gordon to "Poop Poop" him. Muhahaha!