Season 4 Episode 22: Thomas and The Special Letter

Thomas arrives with his last train for the day, where Toby and Percy are waiting. They discuss that they all are going to the big station and that something must be up. The meaning of somethings up confuses Toby's old man brain. 

It's not funny, Thomas.

Just then, coming up the line they see Mavis, BoCo, Bill, Ben, Donald, Douglas, and Oliver. Donald reminds them to hurry they are all wanted at the station. Thomas is even more curious about what's going on. The three leave to find out what is the hub bub.

At the station, The Fat Controller from on top of Duck reads a letter from a little girl. The girl asks if the engines could visit her at the station near her house. The girl is a huge Thomas fangirl.

I am Mufasa 

The Fat Controller takes this as an opportunity for publicity and announces that they are going to the big city. Well, only a select few of them. 

The engines who were going on the trip begin to show their replacements the ropes of their lines. Thomas gives the low down to Oliver. 

All the excitement begins to give Thomas' ego a big boast. He begins to brag to Oliver about how useful he is, how everyone loves him, and winning a race against Bertie. 

You know typical Thomas stuff

Thomas couldn't just tell Oliver about it. Nope he has to show off and reenact it. All the sudden, Thomas takes off like a horny jack rabbit. And has a GIF worthy accident.

I love Bill/Ben's face back there.

Thomas or crew didn't die or anything. But, Thomas did have bent buffers. The Fat Controller is called. He sends out some workmen and makes it clear that Thomas is danger of not going on the trip if he is not mended in time.

8 o' clock the next morning, Gordon, Edward, James, Percy, Toby, Henry, and Duck are waiting to see if Thomas makes it.

It's all about Thomas.

And god dammit, Thomas makes it. They all head off to the city, where dreams are made.

In the city, the engines where put up in a fancy shed surrounded by their adoring fans. Sounds like my worst nightmare.

It's a metaphor for Thomas being the center of the universe.

Don't forget to check out this blog's sister, Kidisasters. A snarky look at various kid shows.

Season 2 Episode 19: Daisy

The Fat Controller introduces Toby and Percy to a hot little number named Daisy. You can tell by the sexy stripper theme she is given that she is pure sass. Daisy is going to be Thomas' temporary replacement. The Fat Controller wants the two of them to show Daisy around. 

You wait and see boys, the way I work those rails. Meow!

Toby and Percy show Daisy the engine shed. Daisy thinking she is classier then that disapproves of the horrid conditions. She swears the smell is bad for swerves. 

The two of them try to show Daisy the carriage shed. Daisy thinks it is better but, dislikes the rubbish that happens to be named Annie, Clarabel, and Henrietta. MEOW! Naturally, this insults the coaches. Percy and Toby end up hauling them away so, Daisy can have the shed to herself. 

The Kim Kardashian of Sodor, folks!

The next morning, Toby and Percy are exhausted. Daisydashian however is cheerful. She even exclaims, "Oooooooo Oooooooo" as she backs out of the shed. 

At the station, Daisy boosts to the passengers about how up to date and beautiful she is. 

The passengers wait for her to stop being vain and go but, nope. Daisy sees that a milk van is about to be coupled on her and freaks. She refuses and requests that Percy take it. When that doesn't work she begins to twerk.

Where's Robin Thicke?

All the twerking in the world, would not work on the driver. Daisy then lurched backyard and literally blew a fuse. The passengers and crew began to argue with her. But Daisy, has an excuse. She claims the fitter told her never to pull anything. She took that one right out of The Fat Controller's handbook. I seem to remember back in the first season, him claiming his doctor forbade him to do a lot of things. 

The passenger in the background sums it up perfectly. 

The Station Master calls her bluff. The Shunter says it best, "Why did The Fat Controller send us this feeble engine?"

That sets Daisy in rage. And guess what? She gets her way. They uncouple the van and she goes on her way. 

Daisy then realizes that she can get away with anything with that story. And so can The Fat Controller.

Season 2 Episode 10: The Runaway

Thomas apparently has not been vaccinated because, he is ill. The Fat Controller, is going to have Edward take him to the works. 

Is Edward ill too? My Baby! 

The Fat Controller then has a talk with Duck. he wants Duck to help Percy and Toby in Thomas' place. Duck is so happy his eyes spaz out.

Duck makes great friends with Toby and Bertie. while he is working. He even meets Terence. Ducks is so happy to met the Tractor that his eyes really spaz out.

I wonder if something is going to go down? Duck has Thomas' and Percy's derp eyes.

Terence warns Duck to take care of Thomas couches or feel the wrath of Thomas. But, Duck being ever the gentle engine is wonderful with Annie and Clarabel. 

Thomas recovers from the Ebola or whatever he had and returns. Annie and Clarabel, tell Thomas about how wonderful Duck was. And Thomas, feeling so great forgets that he is a very jealous fellow.

Thomas was not as well as he first thought. They soon find that his brakes were left very stiff. Thomas seemed to have a hard on. This causes Thomas to over shoot platforms. It was very hard to perform correctly. Thomas found his performance most embarrassing. 

In and Out

After some very sexual wording of events, Thomas' crew gets the hang of it. But, as luck would have it Thomas fireman catches Jungle Diarrhea and becomes sick one day. A relief man comes in to take his place. 

I shouldn't have ate that green eggs and ham.

Thomas' crew and the station master wait on the platform for Henry to show with their connections. But oopsie, the fireman forgot about Thomas' hand brake. Oh the chaos, that will follow!

Thomas sits at the platform carefree. As Henry arrives, Thomas starts to loose his hard on and rolls off. Thomas tried to stop and whistle but, he was helpless without his crew. The crew and passengers stand at the platform picking their butts watching as Thomas heads for disaster.

Where's Michael Jackson and his popcorn?

Thomas flies down the line. Alarms were set across the line to stop the run run run runaway. But, who is going to help Thomas? Well, it is Harold. The Inspector had a plan. 

Thomas is beginning to wear out. As he approaches the next station, Harold lands. The Inspector bails out and like a cat on catnip jumps on board Thomas at the platform. And gives Thomas a hard on. 

Hard on!

Thomas finally stops. The Inspector insists that this will never happen again. And Thomas why why why why why wonders, why this was his fault?

My little runway. Run run run run runaway....

Season 2, Episode 6: Thomas and Trevor

Oh dear goodness no, Thomas is meeting an engine different then what he is. I can't wait to see what rude things he can say this time. Let's see.

We find Trevor looking very sad in the Vicar's orchard. Edward puffs up to speak with him. He finds that Trevor although he loves it in the orchard, that he not busy enough. And he lonely for the children.

Still not touching that joke.

Edward, awesome as always tells Trevor, "To buck up. The Fat Controller has work for him at the harbor. He is taking him today."

Trevor is packed up and sent to the harbor on Edward's train. 

And here comes Thomas, to the harbor with a trainload of metal pilings. Aw yes, here it comes.

Wait for it....

Edward introduces Trevor, ever so politely to Thomas. Of course, Thomas gives Trevor the eye. What? No! I wanted Thomas to call him fat, old, weird, anything! 

Thomas takes Trevor over from Edward and takes him to the harbor still puzzled about Trevor. 

On the way there, Trevor tries to explain how he runs on roads instead of rails. Thomas still doesn't get it. 

When they arrive at the harbor, they find it a mess.

Who forget to set up the set?

The rails are blocked by slabs and trucks. They need to use Trevor to pull the pilings around the mess. 

Trevor shows Thomas how cool he is without needing rails. 

Later in the day, Thomas brings Annie and Clarabel to visit him. I didn't even realize Thomas left!

Thomas is amazed at how useful Trevor is. And he brought children for Trevor. 

Annie states, "That he is very kind."

And Clarabel who is off her rocker says, "He reminds her of Thomas."

Lay off the drugs, Clarabel.

Soon it is time to go. Thomas pulls Trevor to the junction. Once at home, Trevor starts to cry. Thomas tries to cheer him up by suggesting that they may need him at the harbor some day. 

That night Trevor reflects on Thomas, The Harbor, and The Children.

Trevor really needs some more hobbies.

I am so disappointed in Thomas. I really wanted some name calling. 

Season 2 Episode 1: Thomas, Percy, and The Coal

Alright, time to dig into season/series 2! We find Thomas puffing on his branch line on such a beautiful day. Thomas goes right along into the station where Toby and Percy are waiting. 

Shh! Thomas is coming, he mustn't know we're talking about him

Toby and Percy compliment Thomas on how lovely he looks. This turns Thomas into a blue version of James. Thomas insists that blue is the only proper color for an engine. Toby and Percy, just laugh it off and this throws Thomas off. The only thing Thomas can do is throw his color around and puff off. 

Later in the day, we find Thomas "resting".

My eyes always do that when I am "resting".

Just a side question here, it seems that Thomas' eyes seem to derp out a lot in these early episodes. Was there a defect in his model? Has this ever been noted? 

Back on subject, Percy arrives while Thomas is "resting". Percy has some hoppers to fill. Unfortunately for Percy, Thomas is still being a James. 

Percy backs up one at time with his hoppers after they are filled. The buffer do not stop him on the last hopper. Or that is what they say.

Judging by Percy's smile, I think he did it on purpose.

The last load pours down without a hopper to go into. Burying James, err Thomas in coal dust. Thomas pleads for his life as he is being choked to death by Percy's revenge. Percy gives a good, "muhaha". and tells Thomas, "He looks very disgraceful."

I am not touching that joke.

Thomas is then dugged out of the pile in a unseen scene. We then find Thomas being washed down. It took so long to make him beautiful again that he couldn't take his next train. Toby came to take Annie and Clarabel for him.

Thomas has an angry face and a wacky eye, watch out!

That night, Thomas was grumpier then a opossum in a strip club. Tensions were high in the shed that night. Toby thought the day's incident was hilarious.  While Percy was ticked that Thomas thought he did it on purpose. (Well we did see that smile...)

The next morning, Thomas bucked up. He watched Percy bring his trucks from the junction. They were a little too much for Percy to handle and he was pooped. Percy's driver suggests the best remedy, "Have a drink."

The water column was by the unsafe buffers. And for some reason Percy couldn't stop because, why not? The buffers also failed because, why not?  Percy went through the buffers and into some coal. 

Oh no, it's Karma's ugly head.

Instead of being decent, Thomas who had seen everything laughs about Percy learning his lesson and puffs off. I really don't think Percy needed to learn a lesson. Thomas was being the big jag off here. 

But whatever, that night the two of them hugged it out. The end!

Is it just me or does Thomas look more youthful. And now, Percy is flipping out with the crazy eyes!

Season 1 Episode 25: Down The Mine

In this story we find Thomas waiting at the junction when Gordon arrives with trucks. Oh dear! Thomas calls Gordon, "Stinky." Well in all fairness, Gordon is quite the turd.

It's a turd! Oh, it is just Gordon

Gordon replies, "That whoever smelt it dealt it."

Thomas insists that it is ditch water from Gordon's prior accident. Thomas being Thomas, puffs away before Gordon can defend himself. Annie and Clarabel agree with what I have been saying all along, "Thomas is rude."

Also to note, Thomas earlier in the season promised he would never be cheeky to Gordon again.

Thomas backs into the yard to drop off his couches. This is when I know some trouble is going happen. Thomas has his derp face on again.

A true sign that mischief is going to happen

Thomas puffs away derply to the mine to gather some trucks. We find that this is a lead mine. Thomas' eyes make sense now, he has lead poisoning. The tracks in the mine are also weak and can not hold the weight of engine. 

So says this sign

Thomas being a rebel has often tried to pass the sign but, has never been able to. But today, is different. He has been scheming. Thomas waited for the fireman to turn the points. He then rams into the trucks knocking off his driver. And here we go...

Kitty litter, yelch!

Thomas falls into a sink hole. Who didn't see that coming? But I didn't see this, The Fat Controller has popped out of nowhere to see this. 

I see everything!

Thomas pleads for help and promises never to be naughty again. Ugh, I think Maury knows this is also a lie.

The Fat Controller mocks Thomas for a bit. He apparently loves to play mind games with his engine slaves. He then decides out of all engines to have help to have Gordon pull him out. 

Gordon puffs down the rails towards the mine, laughing at Thomas' situation. He arrives and gives Thomas and me a "poop poop". Yes!

Gordon begins to wench Thomas out. Once out, Thomas once again apologizes to Gordon about being cheeky. Gordon just insists that it is all good, they're both screw ups. They agree to form a alliance, Gordmas. They then head home. 

Season 1 Episode 13: Thomas, Terence and The Snow

It's fall! And we have a new character for Thomas to hate on. It's a tractor.

Tractor racism, it exist.

Later in the day, Thomas gets a chance to talk to this tractor. The tractor introduces himself as Terence and explains that he is plowing.

Thomas just goes, "Meh, I am Thomas and I am pulling this train. And you have some ugly wheels, tractor"

Henry is fat and you have ugly wheels.

Terence replies, "That he is beautiful, no matter what you say. Words can't bring him down. And by the way, they're caterpillars. And they take me everywhere"

Thomas lies and says smugly, "He doesn't want to go anywhere." and runs off.

That is not what he said awhile back for the record. 

Holy kittens, it's now winter. Or someone spit flour on the set. Thomas' driver is concerned about the snow and wants to put a snow plow on Thomas. This pisses off Thomas. Honestly, what doesn't piss off Thomas?

Sodor, home to the quickest seasons

They head off with the snow plow on. Thomas acts like a cat with bags on its feet and shakes and bangs his plow. He keeps it up until he damages it. His driver was forced to take it off at the end of the day.

Because of Thomas' assholery the day before his crew had to get up early to try to fix his plow. But, they fail. Of course Thomas is pleased with himself. Everyone is worried. His driver is concerned that the snow will be deep in valley. But, they go on their run.

Predictably, Thomas runs through a tunnel and into a snow bank on the other side. 

Now The Fat Controller wishes he would have let you blow up in the previous episode

The guard heads off to get help and golly gee wiz the paying passengers try to dig Thomas out. But, the more they dig the more Thomas becomes stuck. Thomas gives up too and starts to cry.

A bus comes along and takes the passengers. And Terence comes along to help Thomas. 

You're going to be kissing my exhaust for now on

Terence pulls away the coaches and heads back for Thomas. Terence struggles a bit but get Thomas out. Thomas then thanks Terence and apologizes. But he still thinks Henry is fat. Thomas' driver kids himself and tells Thomas that he hopes he will be sensible now. 

Season 1 Episode 11: Thomas & The Guard

Thomas is so proud of his branch line that he thinks he is the best and his line is the best. We find that Annie only takes passengers and Clarabel picks up the slack. They are also old ladies.

Thomas we need to stop at Walgreen's for our Polident

Annie and Clarabel are also tolerant of Thomas' antics. They know Thomas is just trying to kiss The Fat Controller's bald butt. 

One day, Thomas has to wait on Henry. Thomas starts to rant about how, "Henry is always screwing up his branch line." 

Once again, we all worked with one of these people.

Poor Henry slowly chugs in. I feel so horrible for him. Just look at his sad little clay face.

Thomas is such a jerk that he calls poor Henry, "Lazy Bones" and demands to know, "Where has he been?"

I don't know Thomas, Henry has so many options sticking to his rails doesn't he?

Henry basically says, "He is breaking down. And no one knows how he suffers."

Awe Henry, I care. 

And holy fruit salad Thomas calls Henry, "Fat." I didn't make that up. I swear.

I can't help it, I was built that way.

Thomas being a total jag off at this point, rushes off and leaves his guard behind. Clarabel and Annie try to make Thomas aware of this but, Thomas doesn't listen. Thomas wouldn't stop until he hit a signal. 

They waited for the guard to come out but he wasn't coming. So, they kept waiting. Thomas finally peeps, "Where is the guard?"

His coaches says, "For the last time Thomas, we've left him behind."

Better run over your passengers Thomas before The Fat Controller gets wind

Thomas' guard disappears and reappears from behind him. Or he is running down the track? But, I like to think he is a ghost. He is out of breath and very hot. So what does he do? He has drink. 

It is okay Mr. Guard, if I had to work on this railway I would drink too.

I'm becoming a Flight Attendant.

Thomas apologizes and the signal goes down. Thomas is off. Annie and Clarabel encourage him to go as fast as he wants. Wait a second, isn't that what got him in trouble in the first place? Anyhow, Thomas makes the end of his line in record time. 

Wait, what did we learn?

Season 1 Episode 7: Thomas & The Breakdown Train

Our favorite little derp engine, Thomas is being filled up with water. The Fat Controller pops out of nowhere early in this episode. He tells Thomas basically, "Don't be a screw up today. Please I am begging you. Just be a really useful engine."

I'm begging you. My Tripadvisor score is dropping.

Thomas is off to shunt trucks into their place. Thomas notices some cranes. His driver explains that they are called, "Breakdown Trains. They pick up engines and trucks in accidents." 

Why do I feel like The Fat Controller needs 50 of these things?

Accident free for 1 day

We time travel to another day, Thomas is still shunting trucks. All the sudden we are interrupted by some red engine being tormented by the trucks. He can not stop and his brakes are on fire. 

They're trying to kill me!

The engine's name is James. James disappears and Thomas looks on with derp eyes and his mouth wide open.

The alarm sounds, James has derailed. Time for that breakdown crane. Whoop Whoop! Thomas couples himself to the cranes and sets off to save James. 

I'm just taking a nap!

James' crew is feeling him up, I mean checking him out to see if he was hurt. He is alright. Apparently, he has wooden brakes. Is this the peg leg equivalent for an engine?

Thomas arrives and parks the crane and removes the unhurt trucks. This has always puzzled me. Why are the trucks always trying to wreck engines when most of the time they destroy themselves? 

Once the trucks are removed they set to putting James back on track.

I believe I can fly

James is paralyzed from his wreck and Thomas must help him back to the shed. The Fat Controller is at the shed waiting for them. He tells Thomas, "I can't believe you didn't screw up today. You are a very useful engine. James is going off to get some real brakes and Thomas you are getting a branch line." Oh geez, Thomas can't mess that up can he?

Thomas receives two coaches named Annie and Clarabel. 

I have dirty eyes

Thomas is never lonely on his new line, Edward and Henry deliver the news to him. But the best part is, Gordon rushes through and says, "Poop Poop!"