Season 4 Episode 24: Fish

Henry is waiting at the harbor to pull 'The Flying Kipper'. An extra load of fish had been ordered. The Fat Controller wants it put on extra vans. Duck shunts up some ugly old vans on the train.

Thomas (of course) pulls up with the mail train and stops to speak with Duck. Thomas lectures Duck about the dangers of fish in your boiler. He then goes on to rant about how stinky and disgusting they are. 

Duck has the look of Thomas is a lunatic.

Meanwhile with Henry, he is upset over the extra load. His driver tries to calm him down and mentions that he can have hill getting up Gordon's Hill now with the extra load. Henry says nothing and heads off.

Duck heads off to Edward's station to wait for Henry. He was going to be the helper kitty. 

I'm Duck and I'm here to save the day!

Henry arrives at Edward's station. His driver stops him at the platform. Henry calls for Duck's assistance. Duck pulls up to the back of the train. They didn't couple him on so, Henry could spread his wings and fly away at the top of the hill. The two then set off.

At the hill, all is going well until Henry's tail lamp fell off. Duck felts his buffers slip and then he lost sight of Henry. Henry then started to notice that his train was too heavy and he began to slow down.

I've been violated. 

Duck unaware of Henry's position rear ends him. 

Oh fish sticks!

The next morning, The Fat Controller arrives to inspect the fishy situation. For once he didn't blame Duck. He sends Duck to be duct tapped back together. And Duck now understands why Thomas hates fish.

Nothing was found to be fishy about the situation. 

Season 2 Episode 16: Break Van

Yes, I am so excited! I reached the introduction of Donald and Douglas. But you may or may not ask, who are Donald and Douglas? Well, they're a best twins to come out of Scotland before The Proclaimers. The Fat Controller, only wanted one engine to come help him out but, he ended up two. Because, of the confusion The Fat Controller numbered them. Donald was to be #9 and Douglas #10. But, the truth is one of them was going to be sent home to be scrapped. 

Donny Kate and Dougley Olsen!

Poor Douglas, has already made an enemy. This enemy was the worst kind, a brake van. The brake van always made his trains late. And like most of the other engines when trucks do their dirty tricks, The Fat Controller blamed Douglas. This made Douglas nervous. 

What a fook nugget!

Donald being such a good twin was angry with this turdy brake van. Donald tells the brake van off and states he would leave him behind. 

The brake van replies, "That is not possible, he 's essential as Wal-Mart is to Arkansas."

Donald bumps into the brake van. Donald like a thug, tells the brake van, "There will be more coming if he messes with his bro."

Don't make me sideways shoot ya!

The Brake Van takes no chances and behaves after his beating. 

Until one day, when Donald messes up. The rails are extra slippery this day, making it hard for Donald to stop. Donald slips right into a building.

Donald swore he would never twerk again.

The Fat Controller, looses his temper. He states that Donald was careless with his big tender and he was going to send Douglas back. (That is so cruel.) He also states that Donald had ruined his plans. Now James will have to help with the good works while Donald is fixed. James will be the utmost peeved. 

He was right....

James backs into place where Douglas, Henry, and Gordon are chatting. 

                              

                                    

                                 We know how well things go with The Three Amigos together...

Douglas says, "That anyone would think Donald did it on purpose. But, he heard a tale about some engine and some tar wagons." 

James snaps at Douglas, "Shut up!"

Douglas twists the knife a little further and jokes about not knowing it was James.

Great work, Douglas. 

James slinks away with his train. But, who does he happen to have on his train? The Spiteful Brake Van. The Brake Van takes notice that James is angry and wants to push his buttons even more.

The trucks and Brake Van hold back on James. James tried his best to pull them but, he was out of it by the time he reached Total Hottie Edward's Station. Douglas happened to be there.

They're kicking my baboon red arse

James begs Douglas to help him up the hill. The trucks are trying to kill him. Douglas being kinder then I, agreed to help.

The two engines very slowly force the trucks up the hill. James was beginning to loose his umph. I feel you James, I was the kid who gave up doing the mile run and end up walking it. 

The guard was a little nervous. He warned Douglas to go slowly, the van was breaking. But the warning was no good, Douglas broke the van.

You can tell by that smile it felt good.

Nobody died in the accident but, Edward had to clean the mess. The Fat Controller was on board Edward. Oh no! 

Thank goodness, that Edward is there. Edward explains, "Douglas was doing his best, working enough for 3 engines. He heard him from the yard. "

The Fat Controller is still angry despite what Edward was explaining.  He isn't sure what he is going to do. The Fat Controller is really being a dick in this episode. There I said what we all are thinking.

What will happen to Donald and Douglas? We have to wait to find out.

I had to take this screenshot.

Season 2 Episode 14: A Close Shave

And more from the Duck saga. Duck has arrived at Edward's station. Duck meets with total hottie Edward and explains all about Diesel making everyone hate him. As always Edward, cheers up Duck by stating he believes him and so does The Fat Controller. Duck just has to wait. Edward then asks Duck to help him with his trucks. 

Who can take a sunrise and sprinkle it with dew? 

Apparently, Edward is like a drug. Duck felt instantly happier with Edward. Edward and Duck go butt to butt and work with the trucks. Duck helps Edward with a heavy load up the hill. Once on top of the hill, Duck releases and goes onto the other line. Ducks coasts down the hill. 

Peace can not last on the Island Of Sodor. The guard whistles. There is danger, the trucks have broken away from Edward and are careening down the hill. 

Why do these little buggers want to die so bad?

The trucks start to chase Duck. Ah man, Duck's story keeps getting sadder. Duck's driver yells at Duck to hurry. They chase Duck through Edward's station and down the line. James was just pulling out on their line from the approaching station. Duck tries his best to slow down. It didn't look like he was going to make it. At the last second, Duck was switched to a siding.

Now for some reason, a barber has set up shop at the end of this siding. While shaving a customer, Duck crashes through his shop. 

Possible nomination for best crash this season

The trucks start laughing at the scene they have caused. Poor Duck is stuck face first into the Barber Shop. He apologizes to the barber. The barber who is dumb in the first place refuses the apology and lathers up Duck's face.

Really, why would you put your shop there?

Thomas is shoehorned in to help pull the trucks away. The Fat Controller arrives. The Barber rips him a new one. The Fat Controller, explains that "You shouldn't set up shop on a siding. What kind of idiot does that! Duck and his crew prevented a worst accident with death and blood. It was a close shave!"

The Barber then washes off Duck's face. The Barber and The Fat Controller praise Duck for being brave. 

Thomas struggles to pull Duck out.

Lay off the McDonald's Duck

Once out, The Fat Controller has news for Duck. He is going to have Duck washed and mended, After that, he is going home. 

Ducks is worried about going as no one likes him anymore. The Fat Controller explains that he never believed Diesel and set him home. The Engines are also sorry.

Rabid Duck!

Ducks returns home, loved once again. 

Season 2 Episode 13: Dirty Work

We pick up where we left off with Diesel sulking. The trucks are making his life a living hell with the singing and taunting. Duck is actually upset over this and bumps the trucks to try to get them to shut up. Duck apologizes for the trucks being rude to Diesel.  But, Diesel is still mad at Duck. 

Henry defends Duck by stating that engines never talk about other engines to the trucks because, god dammit they're the lower class. 

Diesel still hates Duck despite Henry defending him. Diesel schemes to get Duck sent away.

I hope you feel my hate rays, Duck!

The next day, Diesel starts to talk shit to the trucks. He states that they like jokes and he has doozy that Duck told about Gordon. He whispers it to the trucks. 

The trucks conspire to tell Gordon, further stirring the shit stew that is going to be served to Duck. As the engines pass, the trucks laugh and laugh at them. Gordon, James, and Henry soon find out why.

Because you're all poo heads?

Gordon, James, and Henry discuss what they are going to do as revenge to Duck. They decide to give Duck a taste of his own medicine. 

Henry is so angry, he doesn't know what to do with his eyes.

Duck returns for the day, very pooped out. The trucks have been annoying him all day. He heads off to rest in the shed. 

At the sheds, The Three Amigos block his way into the shed. And then the saddest thing ever happens. The Three Amigos, state that they are banning Duck from the sheds because of all the rude things he had allegedly told the trucks about them. They even like Diesel better then Duck. 

The Fat Controller does what he does best and pops out of no where to find out what the hell is going on. He finds that Duck allegedly called Gordon a galloping sausage, James some rusty red scrap iron, and Henry Ol' Square Wheels. 

Duck states in his defense he wish he did. The Fat Controller tried his best not laugh at the names himself. He once again asks Duck if he did it. And Duck still denies it. 

I knew Maury would know.

Diesel luuuuuurked up, as Ringo put it. The Fat Controller asks Diesel if he knew the truth? Diesel denies knowing anything in his Eddie Haskell way. The Fat Controller decides that he must send Duck to Edward's station for awhile. That sounds like a win to me but, Duck disagrees.

Awe, so sad.

Duck sadly puffs away. In the distance, Diesel can be heard, muhahahahaing it all the way back into the shed. 

Season 2 Episode 3: Bertie's Chase

Total hottie Edward, is waiting at the station to gather Thomas' passengers. But, Thomas is later then United Airlines today. To pass the time, Edward's fireman breaks out into a song. 

I wanted to be a singer but, I got sucked into the black hole of Sodor.

The driver who is not Simon Cowell, tells the driver to stand on the cab and look for Thomas. Sounds like the perfect stage to me.

The fireman spots Bertie. And decides that he is no good and climbs down. Edward and crew, go ahead and leave.

Cause she's so hiiiiiiiiigggggggh above me!

But Bertie had Thomas' passengers. Bertie tried to get Edward's attention at the gates but, it was no use. Edward probably couldn't hear over the fireman's singing.

We find from Bertie's bus thoughts, that Thomas' fireman was hangover and did not come to work today. Bertie had agreed to take his passengers. 

Bertie goes on the chase.

I'll get that Edward and his little dog too.

Bertie reaches the top of hill and sees Edward stopped at a crossing. Bertie hurries down the hill. But hah, Edward puffs away has soon as he gets to the gate.

The passengers who for once aren't upset, say it is alright and wonder if they'll beat Edward to the next station. Bertie's driver says, "He'll try to make sure they do."

Chicks love my stashe and polka dot tie.

Bertie starts off once again to catch Edward. Bertie follows Edward through town, over bridges, and hills. Edward arrives at a station. 80's Ringo makes a surprise appearance at the station as a guard.  

They took away my drums and gave me a whistle.

80's Ringo blows the whistle and Edward's driver looks back but, the flag didn't wave. But, they hear a familiar "toot toot" and it ain't a gassy passenger. Nope it's Bertie. 

That station master explained to the crew what had happened. Edward apologizes for going all Gordon on Bertie. And Bertie, says it was his fault. Edward puffs off and Bertie sets off to tell Thomas the great news because, we must shoehorn Thomas in.

Just wait until later seasons when we hardly appear.

Thomas thanks Bertie and calls him his BFF. And we end our story without another song from the fireman. 

Yes, I was shoehorned in.

Season 1 Episode 20: Whistles & Sneezes

Gordon is already grumping and I am only three seconds in, new record. He is jealous of Henry's plastic surgery and it is also a shame that Henry is happy. For god's sake, he whistles at stations. No respectable engine would do that. 

Can't I get a break?!

Gordon has totally hurt Poor Henry's feelings. What a freaking jag off! Percy tries to cheer him up. Gordon then puffs pass Henry giving him more hell. Ugh, sometimes I hate Gordon. 

Later that day, Henry stops at Edward's station. Edward always being so lovely tells Henry that he loved hearing Henry's whistle yesterday. Awe, we can always count on Edward.

Their conversation is interrupted by a strange sound. They think it is Gordon but, it doesn't sound like his whistle. But, it is him. Gordon rushes through the station sounding like an Emergency Test on your local television station.

Soak it up Henry

Henry uses Gordon's asshole line from early at the sheds about whistling at the stations. He repeats, "It isn't wrong but, we just don't do it."

Meanwhile, Gordon is still screeching.  Hell, I say they should just keep him screeching. He arrives at that station where everyone is holding their ears begging for mercy, even The Fat Controller.

Scrap him!

The Fat Controller begs for them to take Gordon away. So, two fitters arrive to knock some sense into Gordon. They fix his whistle with a few knocks of a hammer.

That night, Gordon sneaks into the shed. His manhood has been challenged that day. The sheds were empty which made him happy because, Gordon can hand it out but, not take the pay back. But, his happiness doesn't last long Henry comes in and mocks him. Go Henry!

It's hard to be a jag off

In the morning, Henry was feeling great as he puffed down the lines. All was great until he peeped at some boys on the bridge. They threw stones at him. I personally think Gordon paid them off. 

Why does everyone hate me?

The boys managed to break the glass on Henry's coaches. Once again, The Fat Controllers' passengers are crossed. They want the fuzz called at once. Henry's driver insist that he and Henry will get the ultimate revenge on the boys. He is going to have Henry sneeze and throw his steam engine boogers all over the boys. 

They'll be sorry they messed with Henry.

The next day, the crew makes sure Henry is filled with ashes. The driver insists that they keep all the windows shut until they pass the bridge. 

They head out, as expected they see the boys ready with their stones. At the command of his driver, Henry snots all over the little street rats. 

SNOOOOOOOTTT!

Henry heads home feeling like a boss. Not only has he taught some boys a lesson but, also put Gordon in his place. Best of all, Henry gave me this screen shot. 

Season 1 Episode 18: Coal

Henry is not feeling well today. In fact, he may dyeing. He says it himself, "I suffer dreadfully and no one cares."

James next door to him in the shed, pretty much calls him a lazy bum.

Screw you, Henry

The Fat Controller has little sympathy for poor Ol' Henry too.  He tells Henry, " That he is too expensive. And if he can't fix him, he'll be replaced."

That is so cruel. I actually like Henry. He is no Edward but, Henry seems like a kind of okay engine. This is sadder then the tunnel story.

Henry looks like me when I have to get up before noon

Henry goes off to work and low and behold, The Fat Controller is at the platform. He is sporting some lovely overalls for the occasion. He rides in Henry's cab to try to figure out what is going on with Henry. He tells the crew that, "Henry is a bad steamer."

But, I look damn sexy in my overalls!

Poor Henry tries the best he can to save himself but, it was no good. He runs out of steam right at Edward's station. Henry limps off to a siding without his coaches. Edward takes over the train for Henry. Henry knows he is doomed. This horrible, not even the sight of Edward can cheer me up now.

Cute little Edward, please cheer up Henry and Jane Slicker

The Fat Controller asks Henry's crew, "What do they think is the dilly o with Henry?"

The fireman explains, that Henry has a small firebox and can't keep up with the heat. He needs some high quality Welsh Coal. 

Edward sums up my face right now.

Is this the equivalent of a small penis and Viagra for a steam engine?

The Fat Controller goes all Mr. Dink from Doug, "Very Expensive". But, he shall order some. He wants to give Henry a third chance. 

Henry's Welsh Coal arrives and Henry and his crew are excited. They are going to show The Fat Controller how awesome Henry is. 

The narration gets very technical at this time about how the coal was heated. For the sake of my fingers, they tossed it in. Henry is worried that the fireman is spoiling is fire but, they get to the station and Henry is ready to go.

Remember when I was stiff when I came out of the tunnel?

Henry let's off steam and The Fat Controller asks, "How's he is feeling?"

Henry answers, "He feels fine."

After a few jokes about holding Henry back, Henry sets off and we get a run of the Henry Theme music. I miss those themes.

Go Henry, go!

Henry ran so well that he was early to the station. And of course, we have to shoe horn Thomas in before the story is over. Henry calls Thomas lazy and puffs off. Oh come on, Henry he called you fat think of something meaner.

Thomas your face is loose!

And with his special coal, Henry is saved! Thank goodness.