Season 5 Episode 4: Lady Hatt's Birthday Party

Thomas and Percy are waiting on at the station, when a friend we have not seen for awhile shows up. It's Bertie. Bertie asks the the two engines, "If they noticed that The Fat Controller seems different to them?"

Percy agrees that he seems a little spacey lately. He was staring at the clouds as if he was in love. 

I just love ice buns so much!

At The Fat Controller's house, we find that it is his fine lady's birthday. The Fat Controller tries on his new outfit he bought for the occasion. Lady Hatt finds him irresistible in his new suit. She couldn't wait for her party where she could stare at him all night. Lady Hatt reminds him not to be late for her party. She wants that grand finale present.

Mmm... I can't wait for the celebration!

Later that day, The Fat Controller is all dressed up in the new suit, which looks like the usual one. The Station Master tries his best not to burst his bubble on that one and tells him he looks smoking. The Fat Controller explains that he is going to take the car to the party since all his engines are tied up. The Station Master questions whether his car is in good shape or not. The Fat Controller makes the mistake of saying yes.

Yeah I'm not seeing much of a difference.

The Fat Controller takes off in his Hatt Mobile. While driving it, he hits a big pot hole and gets a flat. He complains that if he changes his wheel, his suit will be all dirty and he'll never get laid.

Maybe you should watch the road better?

Caroline arrives at the scene. The Fat Controller asks if Caroline can give him a lift to the party? Caroline agrees. (Wait, why does she talk but, his car doesn't?)

Caroline takes off in a hurry. She began to overheat due to being menopausal and breaks down. Just up the road George rolls in. He starts to turn angry over the sight of Caroline. George begins to insult her. His driver on the other hand, was way more polite and offered The Fat Controller a ride to Thomas. (Of course)

They had a history.

While riding on George, The Fat Controller began to be splashed with oil. His suit was being ruined. But, it was about to get worst. George had went out of control and slid right into a mud patch. Throwing the Fat Controller into it.

Now, I'll never get laid.

Just as luck would have it, Thomas was up above taking on water. Thomas' driver asks The Fat Controller if he needed any help? The Fat Controller explains that he needs a ride to the party. But, unfortunately Thomas' fireman is sick. The Fat Controller decides to try to give it a shot anyhow and he'll be the fireman. Because hell, why does it matter anymore? 

The Fat Controller soon finds out what it is like to be one of the little people. He was soon even more dirtier. 

He even cries about it.

They soon arrive at the station. The Fat Controller looks at the clock and sees that he had made it just in time. He quickly buys some flowers to try to save grace. 

At the party, Lady Hatt is waiting for him. The Fat Controller makes a grand entrance through the door, like it is his birthday. He then gives the flowers to his wife. She makes a comment about how scrubby her husband looks and the crowd laughs. 

Then the upper class counties her birthday celebration.

Dirty looking people are funny.

Season 3 Episode 18: All At Sea

Duck and Percy are having a great time working at the harbor. One morning, the two stop to admire some sail boats. Duck mentions that he has a dream of sailing the ocean blue. Percy immediately shuts him down and reminds him that he is made of iron will sink. 

Then I will dream of being a scuba diver.

Snobby Harold arrives between the two conversing.  Harold lands on a helicopter pad in the bay this blocks Duck's and Percy's view of the boats. Harold explains that it is the regatta and he is looking for drowning models of people in distress. He flies beyond the horizon doing his duties. This blows the two engines' minds that there is a beyond. 

Just around the river bend...

The news of the great beyond sticks with Duck all through the day. He rambles to the point he drives Percy up a wall. 

Just then an alarm sounds. The driver informs Duck that a man has hurt his hand. They are going to meet up with Harold and take him to the hospital. They head off.

Harold lands on the platform and transfers over the man to Duck. Harold snobbishly remarks he must stay at sea.

I think something happened to his face too.

Duck heads off with the injured man. At the station, Duck drops off the man and transfers him to Bertie. Bertie remarks on how splendid Duck looked flying down the line. (Never mind that injured guy. Let's chit chat.)

Ducks feels beautiful and decides engines are better on the rails. He is feeling like hot stuff now. He heads back to the key. 

That night, Percy and Duck stay late to admire the view. Duck spots a shooting star. Percy crushes Duck again by pointing out it is just Harold. Harold drops something down to Duck.

Duck's driver catches it. It is a flag from Harold. On it says, "Well Done Duck."

Well done duck!

Duck still wonders what is the great beyond but, he knows his pace. He will forever be a pawn on The Fat Slave Driver's railway. 

Shoehorned Thomas.

Season 3 Episode 16: Edward, Trevor and the Really Useful Party

Wow, that is a long title. It better be a really useful party if I had to type that all out. 

Trevor and Total Hottie Edward are at the orchard. Trevor is all excited to tell Edward some news. 

Gee,I wonder what it could be? Old men like to talk about politics and the state of the current generation. That must be it! 

Oh nope, The Vicar is having a Garden Party and Trevor is going to be the star! Edward wants to help with the party but, he is stuck with his rails. Bummer...

I'm going to be a star!

Edward goes along working but, bummed. Poor Edward really wants to help. His driver tries to reassure him that he is useful on the railway and that's awesome. But Edward, still has his doubts. 

The next day, Edward meets up with Trevor again. This time it is Trevor's turn to be a worrying old man. It seems The Vicar forgot to put up the posters for the Garden Party. (How is Yoko suppose to bring her walrus?)

Edward has an idea. He'll have himself plastered with posters. 

It is like when people tattoo McDonalds themselves for free Big Macs.

Before anyone gets too excited about this, it has to be run across The Fat Controller first. The Fat Controller is more then happy to agree. Perhaps, he wants to go to get cotton candy?

Edward goes station to station spreading the word of the party. Passengers are all, "Woo party!" and say, "We must go to that. There's nothing else to do. Woo!"

Later that day, Trevor is taking an old man cat nap when Bertie The Bus pulls up. Bertie wakes Trevor up and calls him old. Trevor is too occupied with party to notice and tells Bertie all about it. Bertie states he'll be there. This gives Trevor anxiety over competing with bus rides.

Yeah because, everyone loves riding the bus.

It's party day! Unfortunately, it had rained the night before and the ground is soft and muddy. Trevor doesn't care though. He's made for it. 

At the party, Trevor gets to work pulling carriages of children. While turning a corner, he runs into Bertie. Bertie explains he dropping off some people because, Edward's idea was A+.

Trevor turns around and heads back. And he finds Bertie once again. This time though, he's stuck.

Like I said, everyone loves to ride the bus!

Terrence pulls a Fat Controller and pops out of no where. He jokes about Bertie taking his job of plowing fields and then pulls him out with the help of Trevor.

Out of nowhere!

In the evening, The Vicar finds Edward and his driver to thank him for the advertising. Edward is now happy with himself. And Trevor is sleeping dreaming of the children, again.

I feel like if Trevor was a human, he would have a Duggar size family.

Season 3 Episode 13: Trust Thomas

Thomas is in a grand old mood. He whistles at some hot mama cows and enjoys the sunshine. While on his run he encounters Bertie, who is looking rather angry. 

Angry Bertie is pretty awesome though. But, there is only room for one cranky bus on Sodor. SPOILER ALERT!

Thomas asks Bertie "If he would like to race?"

Bertie is all like hell no! He is busting his tires on the dang pot holes. Thomas is not impressed by Bertie's unusual crankiness and heads off.

Thomas arrives at the next station still happy as a lark. Bertie pulls up still grumping. Thomas teases Bertie about not running on some smooth rails. Which really grinds Bertie. Bertie goes off on rant about the railroad not delivering the tar for the roads for two weeks. He can not trust anything on rails anymore.

Thomas ponders if Harold has gotten to Bertie.

Thomas promises Bertie he will get to the bottom of this mystery and heads off to the big station by the sea.

Meanwhile at the big station by the sea, James is ranting while violently shunting trucks about Percy working at the harbor and him doing his dirty work. 

Gordon overhears this and suggests that James play hooky to get out of work. 

Make sure you have clam chowder on hand.

Thomas pulls up next to James and Gordon, James goes into hooky mode. Thomas sees the two looking sad. He tells them to, "Cheer up Sleepy James." 

Gordon and James explain that James is dying of illness and can not work. Thomas falls for this and volunteers himself to help with the work.

What a fool!

Thomas has some of James' trucks coupled on and he heads to the quarry. It is unknown to Thomas that trucks are filled with rage and want blood. They don't care who's it is. The trucks begin to contrive a plan. 

Thomas collects the stone from the quarry and heads merrily to the junction. All the while with the sneaky bastard trucks crafting their brew.

The trucks wait until Thomas is in the danger zone. They push him down a hill and well I will let the GIF explain.

There was a lot to explain there. Visual aids were needed.

Thomas begins to sink and to add insult to injury a toad gives him the saucy eye. (I feel bad for him for once. He was actually being nice and was in a good mood.)

Duck and Total Hottie Edward arrive to help. Duck takes the little jag offs called trucks away, while Edward helps with Thomas. 

Edward takes Thomas to the junction. While on the ride their Thomas remembers Bertie's missing tar. (Hell, I forgot about it!) Edward states he has it at his station.

Edward has been hoarding the tar. Tsk tsk.

Later that day, James and Gordon apologize for tricking Thomas. (If I was Thomas, I would be hoping for James to get a real illness.)

Just then, Bertie arrives to the apologizing party. Bertie states that his roads are being mended and his faith in the rail gods have been restored. And Thomas' new love, the Toad listens in.

I have Edward and The Toad has Thomas. No judgement here.

Dang it, now Daydream Believer is stuck in my head.

I knew I would sneak The Monkees in here one day. Jane Slicker loves her some Monkees. Especially Nesmith.

Season 3 Episode 6: Thomas Gets Bumped

Thomas' afternoon trip takes him pass a water mill, a farm, and a bridge with a village behind it. He loves the bridge because, the children wave and pay homage to him. 

All hail, Thomas!

One day, Thomas is running late. (So, he bitches at everyone else for being late but, he does it, it's fine) He begins to speak to the children while waiting at a signal. Percy who is also there starts to yell at Thomas to hurry when the signal dropped. Percy teases if Thomas is late, The Fat Controller will replace him. Thomas was worried about this. (Role reversal) 

The next day as Thomas nears the bridge, at the station an inspector was waving a flag. 

Pick me up some Tacos!

Thomas stopped and looks at the bridge, the children are also waving. He thinks there is something wrong since the station is a goods station. The station master explains that the children's school bus had broken down and their parents are going to worry that stranger danger has got them. He wants Thomas to take them. 

Thomas takes them to the next station, where Bertie is waiting to take them home.

When Thomas was finished with his run, he was late. He started to fret about The Fat Controller replacing him. Percy does not make it any better by telling James he warned Thomas. 

The next morning, Thomas looks for The Fat Controller. He has that paranoid feeling you get when you know you're in trouble. Thomas doesn't see him and leaves the station. 

Thomas heads down his branch line. But trouble as always, lays ahead.

I've seen worst.

Thomas' driver cries for Thomas to be careful. But, Thomas derails.

Fun times!

While the line was being repaired, Thomas was sent to shunt trucks. Bertie came up to talk to him. He asks Thomas if he needs help. Thomas sadly says he is useless without his rails. Bertie runs off to get Thomas' passengers for the day. He is so good at it, he even drops them off at their homes.

This sets Thomas' paranoia off worst. He now worries that Bertie is going to run him out of town.

The Fat Controller pops out of nowhere. He states that the rails are repaired and he going to set it up where him and Bertie can work together. 

When Thomas returns, all his passengers are there.

Even the guy with no neck!

Thomas later sees Bertie and thanks him. Bertie states that he likes to share. That's because they are good ol' friends. 

Season 3 Episode 5: Donald's Duck

Duck is in the shed speaking with The Fat Controller. Turns out, Duck is so awesome he is being awarded his own branch line.

I am going to pee my pants, but I can't!

Duck's new branch line runs along the coast and into a port. Duck goes on a run on his branch line. He loves it. He adjusts quickly and he is busy as bee.

The Fat Controller is building a new station at the port. (Damn, he is making bank.) Duck has been helping with the construction. Bertie and the other engines have been helping also.

Where is he getting this money? The way his railroad runs you'd think he would be handing out refunds left and right.

That night, Duck turns into quite a Thomas. He starts to go on and on about his new responsibility to Donald. Donald cracks at the annoyance and starts to quack at Duck. It was his way of saying shut up.

You broke Donald, Duck.

Duck tells his crew all about how Donald has insulted him by calling him a quacker. Duck and his crew whispered revenge. 

Everyone was busy working in their slave jobs. Duck's revenge had not took place yet. But that night, Duck's crew slip something in Donald's water tank when he sleeping. 

Put some liquor in there. 

The next morning, Donald's crew was filling his water tank up. They noticed there was a little something extra. Duck's crew had kidnapped a baby duckling and put it in his tank. Abuse.

Call PETA!

The Duck became BFFs with Donald and his crew. It was like their deformed duck puppy. But as with all good things, it ended. The duck hopped off at a station one day and stayed. Awe sad story.

But that's not the end. Donald's crew now extracts their revenge. They wait until night fall and put a egg in nest under Duck. Duck's crew find it in the morning and laugh their butts off at it. Duck is surprised to find he is now a single father.

Well, at least the crew will have breakfast.

We also find at the end of story, that Donald's duck is now named Dilly and has a daddy issues. 

Come back, father!

The End Of Season/Series 2: The Snarkies!

As I stated in The End Of Season/Series 1 write up, I would really like to do something different at the end of each season. For Season 2, I decided to hand out awards, The SNARKIES, if you will. So without further to do, Jane Slicker presents THE SNARKIES.

Best New Character

Duck

I'm so shocked!

I choose Duck for the simple reason, that he had a real rough introduction. From the bigger engines bullying him, Diesel antics, to wrecking into a barber shop. And after all this, he is just a likable guy.

Best Villain

Diesel

Meh....

Diesel gets the win for the sheer evil he is. He even has the most sinister theme music to go with it. Diesel truly is the most sneakiest snake on Sodor. 

Best Set Of Twins

Donald And Douglas

They're a little nervous that Kayne is going to show up and give The Snarky to Beyonce.

An easy win over Bill and Ben. The brotherly love these two have for each other is heartwarming.  Douglas not being able to live without his brother. And Donald, possibly sacrificing himself for scrap for his brother. These two deserve my Snarky Award.

Best Jerk

James

James likes to make an entrance

It was a tie up between James and Gordon for me. But, I decided to give it to James. Why? Well because, he seems to join in with Gordon and Henry to be a big boy. And he really grinds my gears. 

Best Non Engine Character

Bertie

Bertie, get back here and get your Snarky!

I really like Bertie. His design calls me. Maybe, I am a bus nut? 

Best Make Up

Daisy

Add the stripper music!

Daisy is the Kim Kardashian of Sodor, so of course she is getting the Snarky for best make up. She is also the winner for best swerves. 

Best Crash

Percy

Glorious! 

There were many great crashes in this season, with all the buildings built on the end of the rails. I have to give it Percy though. He crashed with grace. When hit that brake van, he had a great bounce and landing.

Best Couple

Edward & Trevor

Trevor is disappointed he didn't win any children.

The story between Edward and Trevor is touching. The friendship between them is worthy of The Snarky.

Best Crazy Thomas Face

Thomas was drinking before the show.

Yep, that one! You knew it was the winner!

Most Underused Character This Season

Henry

And he even made derp eyes for us!

We didn't really see a lot of Henry this season. If we did, he was grumping. I actually enjoy the character of Henry so, it was a little bit of a disappointment for me. 

Best Death Scene

The Spiteful Brake Van

RIP

He did have it coming though. Lesson to take from this, don't be a spiteful brake van.

And that will do it for The SNARKIES. Join Thomas The Snark Engine in snarking on Season/Series 3 next. We will see duck abuse, engines with silly scarves, dragons, tree hugging, and much more!