The End Of Season/Series 4 The Snarkies

I figure we are about due to another round of Snarky awards. Let's start!

Best Old Man Of The Season

Duke

It was a hard choice with all the eligible old men on Sodor. But, I'll give it to Duke this season. It may be out of pity since he has pretty much becomes missing in action after this season. 

Biggest Asshole Of The Season

Bulstrode

There are many nasty characters on Sodor. But, Bulstrode was so mean and nasty we only see him once.

Biggest Mystery Of The Season

What happened to Smudger?

We do know that he was made into a generator. But, what happened when the mine closed? Is he buried in the ruins? Or is he just plain dead? Such burning questions.

Best Animal Act Of The Season

Champion

He scared Daisy and that is something to be cheered. He just did it so brilliantly. 

Best Stunt Of The Season

Skarloey

Just look at the grace and finesse that Skarloey has pulling in that station. That is perfection.

Most In Need Of Anger Management This Season 

Duncan

Everything angers Duncan. He really is in need of anger management classes. 

Best Scene Of The Season

Rusty and Stepney E.T.ing it

This is such a beautiful scene. Look at all the details put in it. 

Best Crash Of The Season

Thomas going over the hill

It had to be this one. I just love seeing Thomas fly over the hill and into a wall. There is just something about someone as cocky as him screwing up.

That's it for this season's snarky. It really hasn't been that much of a snarky season but, Season 5 is a good one. Join me Monday, as we dive into it. 

Season 4 Episode 14: Gallant Old Engine

Duncan Doughnut is still angry over being rejected by a little girl from being polished and all that other crap he pulled prior. Skarloey has had it with Duncan being his usual ass self and wishes that Rheneas would return to teach Duncan some R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Which leads us to story time with Skarloey...

Come dream with me tonight...

Skarloey flashes back into a story that took place before the other engines have arrived. Back then, things where bad. The railway relied on both Skarloey and Rheneas to keep it a float. 

He goes on to tell us how Rheneas, was a little engine that could and would keep going. Even if he was running out of steam. He was all about that pax. 

Duncan interrupts story time and gives a big screw you passengers. Skarloey keeps it going with a story about how Rheneas stopped once at unscheduled place.

Yes Duncan, I am bored with this story too.

One rainy and nasty day, Rheneas had a train that was bogged down with passengers. He started to head up a hill and he began to slip on the steep climb. But ol' Rheneas kept going finally, griping the tracks. 

Rheneas made it up the hill, only to get a huge cramp.

A lady engine would know how to deal with that. Get Mavis.

Rheneas grinded to stop, his crew got out to inspect. They found that Rheneas has a jammed valve gear. (Ouch!) The driver insists that he has to make it to the next station. Rheneas starts up again slow and steady.

His motivation to keep going was not ticking the passengers off. Rheneas was afraid that if they complain, the railway would close.

Finally, Rheneas reaches the next station. 

I mean shack in the woods.

The passengers where thrilled with Rheneas that they made it. And they would make sure that the word was spread about this awesome event in history. Rheneas had saved the railway.

And that was the end of that story. It really did the trick in straightening out Duncan. (Maury is telling me this is a lie.)

The next day, Rheneas came home to a gaggle of engines.

Henry was pissed about it. 

The engines all make noise pollution and welcome the little engine home. Skarloey was the most excited though, his bro has came home. 

Reunited and it feels so good.

Season 4 Episode 13: Passengers and Polish

Today we meet Nancy, who is one of the guard's daughter. She is out helping out making the engines looks beautiful and sexy as hell. 
Nancy is working on Skarloey and would at least like some friendly conversation with him. But, Skarloey refuses to talk to her, he rather daydream about his bro, Rheneas and how he misses him.

At least she is not polishing his knob.

Nancy interrupts Skarloey's dreams with the news that Rheneas is one his way back soon. Skarloey nearly steams himself with excitement. He begs Nancy to give him the ultimate makeover for Rheneas' return. 

Duncan puffs up along Skarloey and rather perversely asks to be polished too. (It's a snark blog, I've been easy so far.)

I have candy in bunker.

Nancy, in my mind, creeped out by Duncan refuses to polish him. She insists that she has to help The Refreshment Lady with ices for the passengers. And excuses herself yelling, "Stranger Danger!" 

Duncan rejected, goes into a rant about how he is left out. Everyone is getting new things but him. This sets Duncan's mood for the whole day. He then goes along with his business griping about it.

Later that afternoon, Duncan's driver gets the news that one of Skarloey's coaches derailed and he needs rescued. After arguing, Duncan and crew grab some workmen and head up to help. 

Duncan finds that Skarloey's coaches derailed in the middle. Skarloey had taken the front coaches to the top station and had left the rest for Duncan to take home.

How does one do that?

Taking on the rest the load really pushes Duncan's asshole meter to high. He complains the whole way, about being used and abused. In fact, he uses up all his energy on complaining and runs himself out of steam. His driver waits to see if he can get Duncan to build up some more but, it isn't working.

Oh Duncan Doughnuts, you're going for the "Snarkies, Biggest Asshole" award aren't you?

Eventually, after biting his driver's head off about not caring about him and only the paying passengers, Duncan builds up steam again. 

Duncan hits the viaduct before the station and his driver bribes him with the promise of rest and water if he finishes the job. But, that backfires in the driver's face. Duncan stops and refuses to move again.

Oh that, Duncan!

Poor Skarloey, has to come up to the viaduct and drag Duncan's pissy ass to the station. 

At the station, the passenger storm off and start the complaining.  (Once again, don't they check the ratings of this railway?)

That night, The Fat Controller rolls in and hands it to Duncan. The crew just brushes it off as Duncan has a lot of learning to do.

So basically, they accepted that he's an asshole.

Season 4 Episode 12: Steam Roller

Sir Handel has something he would like to show you. It's his wee little cute wheels. They literally keep him on track. The other engines make fun his wheels calling them, "Steam Roller Wheels." I just call them training wheels.

I got a brand new pair of roller skates.

Peter Sam assures Sir Handel that the other engines just don't understand sport performance parts like they do, since he rocks that funnel. 

Skarloey wants to introduce Sir Handel to his enemy, George The Steam Roller since they have similar wheels. And he thinks it would be funny to see Sir Handel met another not nice machine on Sodor. 

It just so happens that George is just off to the side.

There are so many wonderful personalities on Sodor.

They engines look over at George working. The whole time he is working he is complaining about how engines are a thing of the past. He wants all the rails turned into roads. George even has a chant for it. All he needs is a picket sign. 

Sir Handel takes the challenge. He waits to later that morning, while George is at a crossing. The two fight over who has the better steam roller wheels and a duel is drawn.

Do do do doo wah wah waaahh

A little later in the day Sir Handel comes back around the road. He sees good ol' Georgy boy working away. He gets up next him and tries to peep him out f the way. But, George ignores him. The two ride side by side since the road was so tight. They throw insults across at each other, until George's road rage kicked in. He deliberately rammed into Sir Handel's train causing him to derail. 

That's just driving, here in Montana. 

The two nearly caused a gang war with the two crews on who's fault it was. Fortunately, before knives could be drawn a sexy police officer arrives and breaks it up. 

Did somebody call the police? *drops boombox*

The crews work together to clean the mess up and they even construct a fence along the road and the railway. George's crew take him away, after the fence was built. This give Sir Handel the idea he made George disappear. Sir Handel then turns into the bragging hero, driving the other engines nuts.

That awkward moment when you walk into a room and your coworkers are talking about you.

Sir Handel's victory didn't last long. A gang of boys arrive and start teasing him over the accident. They claim that the steam roller nearly beat him. This made Sir Handel sulk in silence on the subject of steam rollers.

Who let's their kids hang around heavy machinery like that? Or what railway does?

Season 4 Episode 10: Rock N' Roll

Skarloey is in the best mood ever, one morning. He was tooting all over the line. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if he ran into singing bluebirds and butterflies. 

He comes to stop to talk to Rusty. Skarloey compliments Rusty on his awesome job of keeping the rails safe and smooth. Skarloey's and Rusty's bromace blossoms further with the nice words.

Let me tell you, about my best friend.

The two of them run down the line, discussing a spot near the station that is troublesome. Especially, for engines who like to rock n' roll. *cough* Duncan. 

Just then Duncan rocks in. He starts to yell at the two for talking about him. Rusty explains what he was saying abut the bad spot in the line. Duncan brushes it off as diesel talk and hurts poor little Rusty's feelings.

Cause I'm an asshole!

Duncan goes about to the yard and gathers his coaches. Of course, he does this roughly. He heads off to the station where James is waiting. James complains about him being late. So, Duncan blames it all on Rusty. This causes the two engines to discuss their racist issues with diesels. James even claims to have made a diesel pack his bags. Duncan takes this to heart.

You guys need some counseling for your racist issues.

Duncan goes along his line chanting, "Send Rusty packing!" As Duncan approaches the next station he begins to become cocky about nothing happening to him yet. His driver yells at him to slow down but, hey this is Sodor, Duncan derails.

Oh, like you didn't see that coming?

Meanwhile with Rusty, he hears the news and tells Skarloey he warned him. Rusty refuses to go and help him. (I don't blame him) But, Skarloey has a heart and urges Rusty to do it for the passengers. Rusty decides to go head off and help Duncan, for the passengers.

Rusty arrives to help. And being The Fat Controller's railway, once again the passengers had to get out and help put Duncan on the line. 

If I didn't know better, I would think Sodor was in Russia. 

After being put back in the line, Duncan was extra carefu. He remembered The Fat Controller, was going to cut off his funnel. 

That evening, Duncan has a heart to heart with Rusty. He apologizes and Rusty accepts. 

And the duo, RustCan was born!

Season 4 Episode 9: Home At Last

Skarloey is home from the works. While being unloaded, he meets Rusty and rather impressed by his pleasant personalty and untouchable charm.

I smell a bromace!

Meanwhile with poor Peter Sam, he is feeling rather low from his beating he took from the trucks. The Fat Controller arrives to order him to another day of shed rest. But, he does has a surprise for Peter Sam. And that perks him right up.

And what is his surprise? Well, it is Skarloey! (I would have requested Edward.) They fire up ol' Skarloey while he speaks with Peter Sam. Skarloey is purring like a kitten and is feeling as frisky as one too. 

Let's go pick up some cougars! Rawwr!

The two engines speak of an engine named Duncan, who hates Rusty. (What? How can you hate Rusty?!) Peter Sam goes on to explain that Duncan was brought in a spare after his accident. And that Duncan is a real asshole, who is a rock n' roller.

Asshole Express, coming through!

Skarloey's driver interrupts the town gossip with news that Duncan is stuck and the tunnel and they are needed to get him out. Skarloey gathers up the troupes and heads out.

Skarloey finds Duncan stuck in the halfway collapsed tunnel complaining about how horrible the railway is. Duncan's driver lets him have it about rock n' rolling in the tunnel.

I wish I had the job to run the miniature railway at the zoo.

The workers work at clearing the tunnel to get Duncan out. Once clear, Skarloey gave a helping push. The two head home, all the while with Duncan complaining about life. 

That evening, The Fat Controller came in to give Duncan a talking to. He crushes Duncan's secret dreams of being a pop star by telling him to cut out his rock n' rolling.  Then The Fat Controller, does the unthinkable, he threaten to cut off Duncan's funnel and career. (WTF!?)

Muhahaha! I'll cut off your penis!

The threat of having his "funnel" cut off was enough to scare Duncan so bad, that he behaved for a week. 

And this week's long distance dedication goes to, Duncan.

Season 4 Episode 7: Peter Sam and The Refreshment Lady

First of all, sorry for not posting for awhile. I have had a very busy week last week. My husband was off getting scans for his cancer and all that fun stuff. But, I am back and snarking. I also started a second snark blog that I will be trying to update every Monday. This blog is call Kidiasters. It is going to hit on a random kiddie show every week and giving them the snark down. I went a little more into snarking on my first post over there then, I usually give Thomas. Just a warning. So, speaking of Thomas let's get on with it.

Peter Sam is now picking up the slack of Sir Handel being in engine time out. Doing this made Peter Sam very excitable. The site of Peter Sam enjoying himself makes Sir Handel jealous, as he is bored and lonely in the shed all the day. 

Before Peter Sam headed off to work, Skarloey warned him to keep calm. But, who listens to Skarloey?

At least you got the one with the roof.

Peter Sam collects his coaches and then heads off on the track. He wanted to go fast but, he was being slowed down by something. When Peter Sam pulled into the station, Henry was waiting for him. 

Just kidding, it was Gordon in disguise. 

Henry was pissy once Peter Sam arrived. He complains about if Peter Sam is late again tonight, he is going to abandon ship and leave the passengers stranded. (It must be Gordon!)

Peter Sam heads off again. We see wee little Peter Sam heading across the mountains and the coaches falling in love with him. 

Peter Sam arrives at a station near the lake. Here they have to wait an hour. This is where Peter Sam's crew take an hour to slack and stuff their faces at a shop run by the sexy and gorgeous refreshment lady. 

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.

The hour is up and Peter Sam is impatient to get going again. He is really worried about missing Henry/Gordon hybrid's train. By being impatient, he leaves behind the refreshment lady. The coaches yell at Peter Sam to get his attention. Peter Sam stops and let's the woman on.

No one leaves The Refreshment Lady.

Peter Sam hurries to make up lost time. (You know if this was the airline, they would say, "Screw you, refreshment lady! That will be $500.00 to rebook you.")

Peter Sam arrives just in time to catch Henry. The two of them are happy for a moment. But, that is all over when the refreshment lady lectures Peter Sam. 

No Sweet Tea for you!

Peter Sam apologizes and explains that Henry made him nervous. The refreshment lady reminds Peter Sam that Henry is a guaranteed connection, he leaves no one behind. Henry sneaks off before Peter Sam can toot angrily at him. 

What a sneaky snake.

Season 4 Episode 6: A Bad Day for Sir Handel

Skarloey and Rhenesas are sitting next to each other speaking with their crews about how they are aging. A crew member drops a bomb about 2 new engines coming in to help the old men. (Wait, a second the episodes are out of order. Ugh, I already have issues keeping these Narrow Gauge Engines straight!) 

Don't mock me Rhenesas.

Sir Handel and Peter Sam arrive. Sir Handel immediately starts bitching about the amenities. Peter Sam plays good cop and insists it is nice. Sir Handel then turns his attention to Skarloey who is sitting under the awning by the shed. He then complains about Skarloey looking like rubbish. (Sir Handel you just won me over. You're hilarious!) 

Peter Sam tries to make excuses for Sir Handel's behavior. Instead of being insulted Skarloey just feels bad for Peter Sam because, he is like a prissy pmsing teenage girl.

Please don't get us killed, Sir Handel.

Sir Handel's firman interrupts Sir Handel's great insults to inform him that he needs to get work. Sir Handel whines about being tired and insists that Peter Sam should do it. But, oh no this fireman is having none of that and forces him to go.

Sir Handel gathers his coaches. He of course, has to insult them too. Sir Handel calls them cattle trucks. The coaches call Sir Handel as they see him, a jag off. 

Sir Handel heads to the platform and there is another engine with ego, Gordon. Sir Handel introduces himself to Gordon. Sir Handel tries to make himself important to Gordon by putting himself in the same league as him. He is even too much for Gordon to handle.

Someone who is more egotistical them me?!

Sir Handel sets off on his line going through the mountain passes. He hits the top station and is still in his pissy mood. He wanted to rest but, his driver wants to get some trucks from the quarry. Sir Handel totally looses it and refuses to work. 

He comes up with the idea of causing trouble to get out of it. (Just like Gordon!) He derails himself.

Maybe this is what is going on with Amtrak?

Peter Sam heads up with some workmen and The Fat Controller. (Uh oh) The Fat Controller must have been taken away from his iced bun again because, he just leaves with, "I'll talk to you later." 

Later that evening, when Sir Handel heads home, The Fat Controller is waiting. He lays in on Sir Handel with the fury of the devil. He then puts Sir Handel in "engine time out" in the shed.

It's bad enough I have to deal with you too. I have a gazillion other misbehaving engines to look after.

Season 4 Episode 5: Four Little Engines

May I now introduce you to, Skarloey and Rhenesas. They work with the engines formally known as Stuart and Falcon. (Yes, Stuart and Falcon are now, Peter Sam and Sir Handle. ) The four engines work on the Skarloey railway.

Enough of that right now, I see total hottie Edward. 

Edward it has been so long.

The Fat Controller is speaking to Edward. He decides that Edward needs to go to The Works. 

Edward heads off to The Works, there he finds Skarloey. Edwards asks about why Skarloey is there. Skarloey give a sad tale about being put to rest in the shed and missing his bro, Rhenesas. Rhenesas was being mended.

Some strange men arrived to abduct Edward, leaving Skarloey alone. 

And here is Thomas, video bombing.

Meanwhile, we check in with Sir Handel. It seems he is having trouble with his coaches. They are kind of like trucks and don't trust him. 

While heading down his line, he encounters sheep on the rails.

I don't know if anyone saw that video where a cow gets is face destroyed by a train? But this is giving me flashbacks of that. 

Sir Handel stops the train before he mutilates any sheep faces. The coaches take it as Sir Handel has bumped them on purpose and swear to pay him back. So, they push him off the rails. 

No sheep were injured and Sir Handel was put on the rails. He was then sent to the shed. His driver wonder how is suppose to take care of a visitor train when Sir Handel has been put in time out?

Skarloey peeps up asking if can do it?

I am needy!

Skarloey suckers the driver into taking him out. He heads out to gather the nasty coaches for the job. Skarloey then lectures them about being jag offs.

Meh, whatever!

Skarloey then heads off. He cheerfully stops at all the stops. It was all cool until the line started to get a little steep for him. Skarloey began to literally loose steam. His driver says in a very Mister Roger's voice to "Take his time."

Skarloey starts to head down the hill. He begins to break up. One of his springs break and he rides sideways down the hill.

Gangsta style!

They stop Skarloey. The crew wants to get a bus but, Skarloey pleads that he'll do it. (What will happen?)

Meanwhile, at the platform, James is waiting. Skarloey pulls up all sideways with the coaches. They two engines exchange passengers. 

Everyone was excited and thankful for Skarloey. Skarloey is told that he is going to mended up and looking beautiful. Because he is a hero!

My little lopsided engine.