Season 5 Episode 2: Horrid Lorry

Looks like we are in for more Cranky fun. Today he is bitching at Percy for being late. Percy explains that he has been running late due to to all the work to do on the island. Cranky suggests that the engines should be replaced by lorries or trucks, for us Americans. Percy's eyes nearly rolled out of his head over the shock of such a suggestion. 

Don't worry there little guy, you can work on a Heritage Railroad.

Percy heads off to spread to gospel of Cranky to the other engines at the shed. They all dismiss Percy's fear. Unlike Percy, the know the show is called Thomas The Tank Engine and they aren't going anywhere. 

Soon enough, Percy's fears come true, 3 lorries appear. They were being unloaded from a ship in the harbor. 

Flying lorries!

Cranky nearly pees himself with glee over this. Percy arrives to be loaded up. Cranky starts to mock Percy that his job is gone. He then informs Percy that one of the lorries would like to have chat with him

The Lorry calls Percy a steaming pile of scrap iron and shoos him away. Percy was the most upset at being called this and rolls off.

You know he is a bad ass with his whiskers.

Percy then later sees Thomas and James. Another one of the lorries was laying into them. The lorry then turns his attention to Percy. He calls him a little green goblin on wheels and states that he will be scrapped. The lorry the drives off. 

Thomas starts to complain over the rudeness of the lorry. James agrees.

Someone should put sugar in his tank.

Meanwhile with little Toby, a lorry has arrived to harass him too. The lorry points out that Toby should be a museum. Toby replies with the very useful engine line we all know. The Lorry in which tells him to tootle along. Toby's driver breaks it up and sends Toby to the flour mill.

This is the angriest I ever seen Toby.

At the flour mill, Toby had found that he has been replaced there too. His driver decides to head out to the farms. He has an idea that they will be needed and loved there.

Toby's railway runs through a gorge. While Toby could go through, vehicles have to take a long winding road around. Toby had arrived at the gorge, he sees the lorry from the quarry with a load of rocks on the pass. The lorry was out of control. The lorry then drives off the road.

Toby's reaction was priceless.

I hope they don't pin me.

The lorry's driver was thrown from the vehicle. He obviously was not wearing a seat belt. How he survived is a good question.

He could have also been drunk too.

The lorry was taken to the docks to be recycled into a soda can, I presume. Percy sees the lorry at the dock and teases the lorry about being a steaming pile of scrap. The lorry insists he'll make a comeback.

Butch the tow truck, arrives with the lorry at the flour mill. Turns out this lorry had broke down from being overloaded. 

James arrives whistling, he had seen the third lorry on the barge. This one had reversed himself into the sea. 

Thomas then arrives to laugh at their misfortune. He calls them the "Brothers Grimm".

I would have called them, The Dip Shits.

The lorries never returned to the island. They are now being drank from and then recycled again. Maybe, one day they'll turn into an airplane and return. 

Season 5 Episode 1: Cranky Bugs

It's time to dig into season 5. And it starts with Thomas and Percy being in bad moods. It all has to do with a cranky crane named Cranky. (Yay, another angry soul on Sodor!) His main character trait is to complain and call Percy and Thomas, "useless little bugs". 

Aw Cranky, I kind of like you for picking on Thomas.

Cranky starts to give the two some business on where they position the trucks. This really grinds Thomas' gears. And he fights back. Cranky is not about to take any lip from a bug and he drops the load of wood he was carrying in front of Thomas and Percy. 

Oh shit!

Later in the day, the two engines met up with Gordon and James to narc on Cranky. Gordon replies with the most true thing ever stated on the island. He replies, "Cranes need attention, just like me." (Gordon knows he is fickle)

James seems to think it is due to Cranky being in the elements looking at Thomas and Percy being annoying and that is why he calls them bugs. And with that James nailed it.

James, you spoke and didn't annoy me. The world is ending.

Cranky hears about the conversation with James and Gordon and it quit pleased with the two of them agreeing with him. His ego had swelled and he then became even more bitter and bossy. 

Percy had become very upset over Cranky's attitude and he then looses his mind. He pushes some trucks closer to Cranky to load, all the while the crane is bitching at him. Percy pushed them too far ahead do to the rage boiling up in him. Cranky then dropped the cargo on Percy's head. (I really did laugh out loud.)

Thud!

Next up is Thomas to be creamed. Cranky demands that Thomas push his trucks on the outside tracks. Thomas begrudgingly does so. Cranky then drops the load right next to the trucks. (Really, what you did to Percy was a lot more eviler.) Cranky laughs and complains that Thomas knew better that he couldn't reach that line.

Thomas and Percy meet with The Fat Controller, who was angry at the confusion and delay. He rips apart Percy and Thomas over everything that happened. He then sends the two the shed to think about how they made Cranky's job difficult. (I never get why the engines never speak up for themselves when they are blamed for the pranks and accidents they didn't cause?)

That's the old Fat Controller we all love.

That night, a storm rolls in. Gordon, Duck, James, and Henry at stuck at the shed at the harbor. An old steamer ship is on the prowl running loose. It digs through the dock and heads right towards the shed the four are staying in. It collapses the shed and knocks down Cranky. 

This right here is why I am afraid of ships.

The Fat Controller arrives and ganders at the destruction. He decides to have Thomas and Percy head out to help put up Cranky. He'll then have Cranky dig out the other engines out of the shed.

But, I have a headache.

Cranky tells on himself to The Fat Controller. He admits that he was rude to Thomas and Percy all along. The Fat Controller, just now figuring out his mistake decides he owes Thomas and Percy an apology and a couple of kisses.

Thomas and Percy arrive at the scene. The two get Cranky on his feet. Cranky then began the job of clearing the shed. Once Cranky had the shed off the four engines, Gordon begins to kiss Cranky's ass. Cranky admits that he couldn't have done it with those b b b b b b uuuuuggg..... small engines. 

Cranky then rudely asks Thomas and Percy to move. Percy becomes uber pissed and moves while still attached to cranky. And once, again Cranky is on the ground. 

Percy that was the best move ever.

We end the story with Cranky still being cranky. But, he doesn't call them bugs anymore so, there's a positive. 

Season 4 Episode 25: Special Attraction

Toby is at the station and excited to show off his beautiful new bell. Toby was off to head to the seaside. His driver explains to him that at the village every year they have a parade with special attractions. And this year, Toby is the big deal!

Because, I'm hot stuff.

Toby arrives at the village station. They were only welcomed by one man who liked to whisper. Turns out that the parade is full and Toby has been rejected like yesterday's lunch. Toby understandable is bummed out.

Looks like Toby, literally was burned.

Percy who was shunting in the yard was surprised to see Toby there. He was going to ask Toby what's up, when The Fat Controller pops out of nowhere. He wants Percy to head to the harbor. Trouble is brewing with someone named Bulstrode. 

His driver explains that Bulstrode is a barge, who happens to be another ass on Sodor.

There's never a shortage of assholes on Sodor, Percy, my boy!

At the harbor, Bulstrode is chewing out everyone. He yells at the trucks, to move closer. They are quick to point out that they need an engine to push them and that Bulstrode is the one in the wrong place.

Yarr!

Percy arrives just in time to be put in the middle of a mess. The trucks are pissed and Bulstrode is whining. The trucks beg Percy to have them filled up so they can be free from Bulstrode.

While putting the trucks into their place, they went through a buffer. They then went over the edge of the dock and right into Bulstrode.

Like lemmings!

Percy luckily doesn't go over. But, the weight on Bulstrode makes him feel like he is sinking. 

The clean up took a long while to do. Percy sits watching Bulstrode be pulled onto the beach. 

At the beach, Bulstrode is sentenced to a life of having children play with him. And to me that is the worst punishment known to man or barge.

That really sucks.

Percy arrives home and tells Toby all about it. Toby laughs it off as they both had seaside adventures today. He then declares himself as a special attraction everyday and so is Percy. 

Well, Percy is special.

Season 4 Episode 24: Fish

Henry is waiting at the harbor to pull 'The Flying Kipper'. An extra load of fish had been ordered. The Fat Controller wants it put on extra vans. Duck shunts up some ugly old vans on the train.

Thomas (of course) pulls up with the mail train and stops to speak with Duck. Thomas lectures Duck about the dangers of fish in your boiler. He then goes on to rant about how stinky and disgusting they are. 

Duck has the look of Thomas is a lunatic.

Meanwhile with Henry, he is upset over the extra load. His driver tries to calm him down and mentions that he can have hill getting up Gordon's Hill now with the extra load. Henry says nothing and heads off.

Duck heads off to Edward's station to wait for Henry. He was going to be the helper kitty. 

I'm Duck and I'm here to save the day!

Henry arrives at Edward's station. His driver stops him at the platform. Henry calls for Duck's assistance. Duck pulls up to the back of the train. They didn't couple him on so, Henry could spread his wings and fly away at the top of the hill. The two then set off.

At the hill, all is going well until Henry's tail lamp fell off. Duck felts his buffers slip and then he lost sight of Henry. Henry then started to notice that his train was too heavy and he began to slow down.

I've been violated. 

Duck unaware of Henry's position rear ends him. 

Oh fish sticks!

The next morning, The Fat Controller arrives to inspect the fishy situation. For once he didn't blame Duck. He sends Duck to be duct tapped back together. And Duck now understands why Thomas hates fish.

Nothing was found to be fishy about the situation. 

Season 3 Episode 25: Percy, James and the Fruitful Day

James is off puffing around. Of course, he is thinking about how stunning and beautiful he looks in his red coat. He arrives at the junction and sees Percy. James is surprised to see Percy and remarks about how Percy must be running late.

Percy tries to explain on how the trucks were giving him a rough time and put him behind schedule.

But, James is not having any of it. He goes into a lecture about Percy letting down The Fat Controller and huffs off.

Ugh!

James heads to the harbor where it is market day. Tons of fruit has just arrived and it smelled quite fruit salady. Yummy, yummy. James is loaded up with fruit. He heads out to the station on The Mainline. 

On his run, he runs into Thomas. James stops just long enough to get a jab in on Percy not be as reliable as him. 

And Thomas was like, "Okay then."

Meanwhile, Percy is hard working in the yard shunting trucks. The Station Master approaches Percy's driver, he informs him that James' brakes had jammed and they need Percy to help him.

Percy and crew set off. They find James stuck on line looking all sad and hurts. (Oh poor James. *note my sarcasm.*) Percy stops and makes fruit puns at James. 

And I have The Wiggles' Fruit Salad in my head.

Percy's driver asks him if Percy can handle the trucks. Percy agrees he can. So, they hitch up Percy, leaving James butt hurt and ticked off because he is not reliable anymore. 

Percy heads off with the trucks. Percy begins to make the mistake of being too cocky. His driver warns him to be careful. Percy begins to hurry and fails to notice the points had failed and he was on a siding. Percy crashes right into a buffer, causing him to crash into his trucks. He was in a jam.

We make a great pear.

His crew jumped out just in time. But, Percy was berry messy.

It looks like some up chucked on Percy's face.

The Fat Controller arrives to give a lecture to Percy. He even throws in a jam factory joke.

That night in the shed, James and Percy are pouting. Thomas peeps in with being in a jam jokes. No one is laughing but, Thomas goes on making more jam jokes. Still no laughs. So he then turns into the "very useful engine" spill. Finally he gets a reaction. 

You're a horrible comedian Thomas.

Tune in tomorrow, we will finish up Season 3 and a season review will be up. Olive you guys so much it hurts!

Season 3 Episode 18: All At Sea

Duck and Percy are having a great time working at the harbor. One morning, the two stop to admire some sail boats. Duck mentions that he has a dream of sailing the ocean blue. Percy immediately shuts him down and reminds him that he is made of iron will sink. 

Then I will dream of being a scuba diver.

Snobby Harold arrives between the two conversing.  Harold lands on a helicopter pad in the bay this blocks Duck's and Percy's view of the boats. Harold explains that it is the regatta and he is looking for drowning models of people in distress. He flies beyond the horizon doing his duties. This blows the two engines' minds that there is a beyond. 

Just around the river bend...

The news of the great beyond sticks with Duck all through the day. He rambles to the point he drives Percy up a wall. 

Just then an alarm sounds. The driver informs Duck that a man has hurt his hand. They are going to meet up with Harold and take him to the hospital. They head off.

Harold lands on the platform and transfers over the man to Duck. Harold snobbishly remarks he must stay at sea.

I think something happened to his face too.

Duck heads off with the injured man. At the station, Duck drops off the man and transfers him to Bertie. Bertie remarks on how splendid Duck looked flying down the line. (Never mind that injured guy. Let's chit chat.)

Ducks feels beautiful and decides engines are better on the rails. He is feeling like hot stuff now. He heads back to the key. 

That night, Percy and Duck stay late to admire the view. Duck spots a shooting star. Percy crushes Duck again by pointing out it is just Harold. Harold drops something down to Duck.

Duck's driver catches it. It is a flag from Harold. On it says, "Well Done Duck."

Well done duck!

Duck still wonders what is the great beyond but, he knows his pace. He will forever be a pawn on The Fat Slave Driver's railway. 

Shoehorned Thomas.

Season 3 Episode 8: Diesel Does It Again

Sodor's very own, Eddie Haskell's back. I'm sure Duck is thrilled.

Speaking of Duck, let's check in with him. Duck and Percy have been working at the harbor. The job is beginning to take a toll of them. They are pooped.

The Fat Controller, made a promise that another engine would arrive to help out. But, he didn't say who.

Well good morning Duck, what a nice funnel you're wearing. 

Duck gasps at the site of Diesel. Diesel explains that he was sent to shunt some trucks. Percy is very suspicious of Diesel. Diesel sets off and bumps some trucks very hard just to make a point.

Percy and Duck were horrified that The Fat Controller was cruel enough to send Diesel back. The two go on strike.

Demand pretzels!

The Fat Controller was in his office devouring an iced bun when the telephone rang. Of course, it was trouble and he sets out.

Diesel meanwhile is working, yet loudly. The harbor was a mess and once again people were complaining about The Fat Controller's railway.

The Wal-Mart of Railways.

The Fat Controller arrives to speak to Percy and Duck. They explain that they refuse to work with Diesel. Duck cries that he was promised he was sent away. The Fat Controller voices he, believes in second chances. After getting chewed out, Percy and Duck return to work. 

The next morning, Diesel's driver forgets to set his brakes. Diesel rolls forward and bumps Percy. Percy is frightfully surprised. Diesel does not apologize and this upsets Percy.

No comment....

Later that day, Diesel bumps some fully loaded trucks and spills the cargo. Duck and Percy, ponder what The Fat Controller will say. Diesel tells Duck and Percy not to be snitches. The two never say a word.

Taking advantage of this, Diesel goes on doing more asinine things. He bumps some trucks right into the harbor.

Oops, I did it again. I played your trucks. They got lost in the harbor.

The Fat Controller, gets the phone call. He heads to the harbor to rip out Diesel's engine. 

Duck and Percy look on with glee.

The Fat Controller with a crazed look in his eye, tells Diesel he will not be inviting him back. (Where's Maury?)

That's better

Duck and Percy no longer care that they are over worked. As long as they don't have to work with Diesel. 

You took me away from my iced bun, one too many times!

Season 3 Episode 7: Thomas, Percy and the Dragon

Another episode with Percy pestering someone. This time it is, Thomas. While in the sheds one night, Thomas is trying to sleep while Percy is being a Chatty Cathy.Percy begins teasing Thomas for thinking he was a ghost.

Thomas wishes he had hands and Percy had a throat so, he could punch him in it.

That very morning, The Fat Controller arrives to ditty up the slave's activities. He wants Thomas to pick up something very mysterious from the harbor. 

Meanwhile Percy, is working with his trucks when Henry puffs up. Percy sits in a siding while Henry passes. But Henry, is so cool that he jams the points and they can not be set back until morning. Percy is stuck.

Curse you, Henry!

Night falls and Percy begins to become lonely and paranoid. 

Thomas meanwhile, is waiting for his very mysterious load at the harbor. He looks up and there it is.

*insert gong*

Thomas nearly toots himself at the sight. His driver explains it is a dragon made out of paper for the carnival. The dock workers light it up for Thomas to make his trip safer.

Thomas sets off with Puff The Magic Dragon. Thomas approaches Percy who is finally sleeping. Thomas sets off steam and startles Percy. Percy cries for help. 

His bunker puckers.

The next morning when the points were fixed, Percy puffs into the junction. He sees Gordon who is just about to leave. Percy tells Gordon all about the dragon. Gordon states that, "Percy was smoking crack."

News spread fast about Percy's dragon. The other engines begin to pick on him. Percy goes on working crying over it. 

At a station, it all comes together. Thomas puffs up with the dragon. (Where the hell has he been, if he is just now arriving?) Percy screams and Thomas tell him to shut it, it's just him. He explains everything to Percy. Percy admits he shat coals. 

I bet he took it to the Chinese restaurant. Lice & Dog, Sodor.